Sunday, January 31, 2010

Catcher in the Rye - some thoughts

He died this past Wednesday on January the 27th at the ripe old age of 91 (LSD founder Albert Hoffman had him beat by a few years) so Catcher's in the news again. The novel has passed the test of time although I had an English professor in college once who said it was ok but he didn't know what all the fuss was about. Since we've been talking about it since 1951 when it was first published clearly author J.D. Salinger tapped into something but WHAT exactly? something in the existential ether. Clearly when even the psychos liked your work you've struck a chord (Mark David Chapman and John Hinckley were said to have carried copies to their missions) which is another thing, what to do when psychos enjoy reading your work and get something out of it? ain't exactly the best blurbs to put on your jacket. In fact if the novel were written or updated for today's world it'd be not just everyone's a f*n phony but everyone's a psycho like lately I've noticed that anybody who disagrees with me in my day-to-day is just a wee bit too serious. Take today at work, the bakery guy goes don't take my trays, you have your own which in and of itself is a perfectly valid point but it's the way he said it, getting in your face until like my friend says you're looking for something to defend yourself with should the need arise, can I throw flour in his face? But anyway any resemblances with my blog to Holden Caulfield is purely coincidental. You want your themes of angst and alienation, the occasional existential meltdown it's all here so where's my literary validation?? It's been said the protagonist is a cynical outcast, that's what my library display memorializing Salinger's passing tells me but that'd be ME. I hate social obligations: as soon as I go to a wake I want to leave. It's nothing personal but I saw the dead guy already and I'm sure he'd want me to leave too. Observations on Society: like it's often the women who are the most sexual, who show the most cleavage who are most likely to call the cops should the wrong guy pursue. It's not the tits for God's sake, it's the phoniness ("madam your melons are falling off the table"). Take organized religion: the confessional is an invasion of my privacy. Why does the priest have to know what my left hand did last night? do I ask him how to make altar boy pudding? My blog comes from the heart (or the gut). I am ANGRY folks and it's everything, I can't go through a whole day without some vibe in my being getting plucked the wrong way like when you hear your boss say so-and-so doesn't like to work which is a totally wrong framing of the issue. Getting up and going to work everyday is a form of discipline, nobody except your boss insists you have to like it as long as you show up for work every day and do what's required. I don't ask the tolltaker on I-87 if he likes his job or not, it's irrelevant. There are other things...

Yes I am HE.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

WOW!! Nuclear power plants & offshore drilling

There was enough last night in President Obama's first State of the Union address to warm the cockles of any Republican heart but I wanted to hear more about his mysterious jobs bill that he wants on his desk without delay (are we allowed to ponder it or just accept the omniscient wisdom of Our Leader?). He rapped on about clean energy, climate change, even gays in the military but the thing was JOBS JOBS JOBS in 2010. He got into regulatory reform of the financial markets a little, said he doesn't want to punish the banks (codespeech - "I'm not a Marxist you know") and really touted all the tax cuts he's signed, small business, capital gains, the works and it was said a couple of Republicans got that Chris Matthews tingle in the leg area but won't admit it (oh is that a semen stain?). About 33 minutes (or was that 31?) into the speech as the ever-helpful pundits pointed out afterwards he finally brought up health-care and said part of the problem was he didn't explain it better - oh no buddy we heard you loud and clear. At this point about 60% through the 71-minute speech the Jim Beam Sour Mash was jerking me in and out of consciousness so I had to catch some recaps afterwards. I always skip the counterspeech from the Opposing Party later, what's the point? it's an anticlimax. The Speech? it was a'ight, he struck some of the right Reaganesque notes early on, despite our hardships he was hopeful about our country's future.

So there was Biden on the Today Show this morning, first thing he said was he expects unemployment to grow this spring until Meredith ever the helpful msm'er corrected him ("you mean employment") but if I were doing the interview I would have just let the guy rap for the sheer fun of it, the line would have gone down into our ever-growing list of Bidenisms. So the prez and Biden are heading down to Florida to give an $8 million federal grant for some light rail project, that'd be good.

My favorite State of the Union of all time? When Gerry Ford got up in front of the nation and said "the State of the Union is...not good." I'm sure the Malcontent will correct me on some of my points.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Speaking of which why is this man still alive???

To all those conservatives who say it doesn't matter drudge this:

By failing to capture him lo these past eight years all we have succeeded in doing is mythologizing Osama bin Laden. We have made him into Wo-Fat on Hawaii Five-O , archnemesis/villain who always escaped the book'em Danno treatment at the end. We have made him into some evil genie who can escape just like that into a thin curl of purple smoke. It MATTERS because this Islamopsycho is still planning and orchestrating attacks across the globe. In his latest audio message he says the United States is still gonna get it because of our support for Israel and praises the cockbomber. Send Jason Statham, hell send somebody but get the job done. I know I know our special forces boys are still looking but there's pretty much a consensus now, has been for some time that he's holed up somewhere up in them thar hills on the Pakistan/Afghan border dining on sauteed goat testicles, maybe scratching his initials in a cave somewhere, could be watching Glenn Beck for all we know. He's like some Islamostalker we can't get a handle on and it doesn't seem we care anymore. I'm not gonna comment right away, I'm gonna let you all tell me where I'm wrong.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

right-wing schtick

Actor Danny Glover says climate change caused the earthquake in Haiti, something to do with Copenhagen, didn't know in addition to his acting credentials he had skills in geophysics. Savage was talking about this last night and noted that Haiti is only 100 miles from the Florida coast and so they're gonna come here in droves for the welfare. Upon first seeing the news footage of the devastation 'twasn't the initial thought that immediately came to my mind but leave it to Savage to boldly explore territory that Beck won't even venture into. Trudging along the frozen tundra in his parka with frozen snot and a chafed a-hole give him a Viking helmut and a harpoon and maybe he can shoot a polar bear on an ice floe. The new quarter, Savage on one side, Danny Glover on the other, you flip it on the table and it just pings differently. Hey there's a political lining to any tragedy, Glover must be bored with no Lethal Weapon movies to do. Patrick M is right I think, Savage's thing is Anger but excuse me I have to go check my Drudge Report.

Free Speech, it's all good.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Maybe money really does grow on Trees after all

President Obama has pledged $100 mil to help the Haitian earthquake victims. I've no problem with the sum, with its necessity BUT we don't even have the funds for health-care "reform" and the rest, we're running at a deficit and a massive one at that. You know the way your Mom told you to save money when you were growing up? imagine if the government did that! they'd have $$$$ left over for a rainy day.

Phantom menaces

It's when Glenn and Rush are always saying things like "they're trying to silence us", well you're still talkin' ain't ya? Pornmakers pull this too, will often tag on some ad for the Free Speech Coalition, "if you're a fan of XXX-rated entertainment here's what you do" but you're still makin' porn aint you? In one case the threat is supposed to come from the uber-Left, in the latter social conservatives I guess. Rush has been saying the same thing, this conspiracy against him for how many years now and I can't remember the last time he wasn't on the dial barring vacations of course or the last time there was an obscenity prosecution in this country. Did some large vat of LSD somehow make its way into our water supply?

The overimportance of education

Friend said to me the other day "what about going back to school to get a better job?" but folks often miss the mark. You have higher-level bosses with business degrees who sorely lack the common sense and besides basic fairness should apply across-the-board in any workplace low or high, has nothing to do with advanced degrees.

People who say that's besides the point

When engaged in debate or argument or discussion with someone I like to rotate the issue just like a globe, rotation of the issue, spin it around and flip it back to them and that's where your "that's besides the point" comes in. They resent you're showing them another side or angle to the issue. Joe Biden and Harry Reid, if you combine their two past statements on Race (I know I know, keep the two separate, you're fudging the mathematical equation) are really saying that the clean and articulate African-American without the Negro dialect is really not the norm but that's besides the point.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Conan has a right to be pissed

Why can't HE just retire or something? I remember I worked in a civil-service job once and one by one the older workers would begin to retire, they'd throw retirement parties for them and sure enough they'd all come back one by one on a part-time basis, get in the way, use the computer you wanted to use etc. So I was the bad guy when I kinda made some comments about this but I never fit in there anyway...Conan has every right, he uprooted his family after all and moved them all to the Left Coast, time for his day in the sun. Now I like Leno alot but c'mon dude, let's go gracefully but a part of me can't help entertaining a little conspiracy theory: all this happened after Glenn Beck appeared on his show recently (hmmmmmm). So move Jay to 11:35 his old time slot for what? a 1/2 hour monologue and throw the whole early morning scene into chaos? I'd give him an Asswipe Award actually, people aren't happy with his asswipery. Guy's got a collection of classic cars and old bikes, tinker with them the way my retired Dad putters around the house.

BTW The Simpsons have been on for 20 years. Back in the day you had shows like The Odd Couple and it surprised me to learn a few weeks back that that show hung it up after only five years and while they had some great episodes maybe they figured they mined all the humor they could. Retire Homer (& SNL for that matter). Get the Food Network back on, Bobby Flay can rock a kitchen. Ah the White House Executive Chef position, what a thing to have on your resume!! I'd bet Bill Clinton was real easy to cook for -- "just a cheeseburger and a hot dog with some fries and a cold one and I'm good."

Saturday, January 09, 2010

A philosophy of blogging

You need a healthy ego,

one recent study strongly suggests that most bloggers have massive egos, I question this AND

the metaphysical certitude that you are Right,
which is why you have to absolutely vaporize the opposition but I think this is obvious.

Other perks:
a knowledge of the subjects you post about helps and have your own style. Accept other styles other than your own. I think Malcontent is being deadly serious much of the time but I also think he's cultivated his own character out of Hannityland. We're all friends, don't attack other bloggers.


Humor need not and should not come with a set of Cliff's Notes. Stop and explain every joke and you destroy the Art.

Solipsism sucks

nobody cares if your job sucks.

A blog should not be a dissertation but it needn't be something that fits neatly inside a fortune cookie either.

The most popular blogs are exclusively political and this is because people thrive on chaos and finally

the f-bomb

to be used judiciously, it's in the underground silo somewhere and the midday sirens will go off when it's about to be used. You're at your main computer terminal and your f-drones are flying over the cyberlandscape, you view your liberal enemy somewhere, your intel is sound but not YET...

Friday, January 08, 2010

Liberal charity

I blogged about this back in the day but I wanna toss it around again. There was a time many years back I was really down on my luck, reached the bottom and I was looking back the other night (the spirits will do that t'ya every once in a while) and I concluded that the conservative people I knew and came across helped me out far more than my liberal brethren. Now this is purely anecdotal, it hardly passes the rigors of a scientific study but the only reason I bring it up is because these liberals that I knew proudly advertised themselves as liberals, would say things like all the money they spend to produce music videos could be put to better use like to help the homeless.

Zman (down on his luck calling a liberal he once knew): "Yeah hi (yada yada yada), I'm in a tough spot right now, any jobs in your area?"
Liberal: "I'll let you know. I have to go now, bye." (click/dial-tone)

Needless to say he never called back. The one time I was betrayed in Life involved a couple liberal people (not that most liberals betray but they're constantly tooting their own horns about how much more virtuous they are than conservatives). Some conclusions: maybe we are not the Sum Total of our political philosophies. TAO said something similar at his own blog the other day that maybe it doesn't really matter who's in the White House the Ship of State always seems to steer the same course, libs and conservatives once in office are kinda the same deal and I really didn't have a response at the time because I somewhat agree. The other conclusion: maybe conservatives take the Biblical mandates more seriously and the most recent study seems to bear this out, says they give to charity far more than liberals do. These libs I'm talking about strongly, passionately believed in the Welfare State yet when push came to shove wouldn't even loan you a twenty. My feelings: liberals are by now so well known for being caring, compassionate, sharing human beings that they no longer have to prove it. These lib associates of mine who never helped out, I never called them on it of course but if one were to they'd probably proudly point to their voting records when in reality they were really living the Creed of Ayn Rand.

OR maybe they don't help out conservatives down on their luck, dunno. I only mention my anecdote because it doesn't fit the usual liberal/conservative paradigm.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Back in the day

Guy and I were talking at work today, rapped about this and rapped about that and then he told me the story of this woman who worked in a supermarket chain who slept, strike that, sucked her way to the top, well not quite the top but let me continue. She blew all her managers and co-managers and wound up with the top prize of Front-End Manager. In the olde days you had women who were willing to sleep with their bosses to get what they wanted of course but here's the key, in them days intercourse sufficed, 'twas more than enough but in these modern times the price of admission just went up:

You have to give head,

I mean it's Mandatory, we're no longer talking satin sheets, Johnny Mathis and just that thinnest veneer of social respectability just guzzle it down like a milk shake you fucking slut so she played the skin flute of about, oh I don't know pick a number out of a hat, 5 co-managers and 2 or 3 managers (were these separate deals or did they simply form a circle holding hands singing Kumbaya?) and everyone knew it too. She'd sip her coffee in the morning proud as a peacock and strut around all day giving orders like she was the manager of the store or something but she's older now and settled as they say. BTW sounds like the guys got the better end of THAT deal

but that was back in the day,

and you did crazy things, that's just the way things were

back in the day. You might be older now, have a nice husband and kids, a Jack Russell Terrier and a nice office job and checking account and keep respectable company and play SpongeBob for the kids in your minivan on the way home after grocery shopping

but that was back in the day. Maybe Gary hung upside down with a corn cob up his ass in a weird masturbation experiment and somehow cut off his oxygen supply and had a stroke and had to be rehabilitated at some nursing home at the prime age of 34. You can all laugh about it now,

that was back in the day.

"Back in the day I was a freak."

Monday, January 04, 2010

Glenn Beck and Apocalyptic Conservatism

Now some conservative bloggers like Patrick M say he's crazy and that's cool, everyone's entitled but there's no denying much of conservatism these days seems concerned with the advent of a Manchurian Candidate, not if but when and for many they have found their man. In Apocalyptic Conservatism the issues are more sharply defined, the stakes are higher and there's more of a sense of political Destiny than say the comfortable conservatism of a David Brooks whose prime tenet seems to be Do Not Offend, split the difference and have tea at the end of the day with liberals who always mean well after all (a little too Melba-toastish for me). Perhaps Rush had an acute case of Glenn Beckitis, he saw his blip getting near the end of the radar screen and had to get his name back up in lights (those phantom pains, I've gotten them every now and then in Life and usually just chalk it up to agita, I don't have my agent call the msm). El Rushbo (pretty cornball in this the Age of Lady Gaga) merely calls Obama a polarizing figure (BORING) whereas the new kid on the block is much more blunt, has more of a Scenario in place and so in Apocalyptic Conservatism you truly have a Clash of Opposites, how could it be otherwise? It might be extreme or radical but it stands for Something and after all Fatima was always more exciting than the Second Vatican Council anyway, the only thing missing is the cyborgs. Apocalyptic Conservatism, it's like Extreme Hardcore, why do you want a vase in the way or men on screen without genitals?

hey it's early:)

Sunday, January 03, 2010


People don't drive right, customers don't act right, co-workers do things that don't make sense, it explains some happenings in the blogosphere, you can throw in politics, the crap that passes for entertainment these days, Life in general. Yep, I'm talking about a little substance abuse action and I have become convinced over time that drugs alter the mind, the way we think, change the chemistry of our brains in some way and I'm including ALL illegal drugs from pot to the psychoactive class. Some drugs make you feel invincible, all-powerful and self-important and I'm half libertarian on the issue in the sense that drug users should never see the inside of a prison cell. However having said that these people are annoying as hell to deal with, the lack of a lucid grasp of a situation, the running roughshod over the normal course of human behavior, civilized modes, the paranoia, anxiety, lack of initiative, egomania and I am also convinced that 1/2 the population be on something, wouldn't be the lucrative business it is if people weren't.

It's not the war on drugs that's all wrong, it's the war on our minds.

Saturday, January 02, 2010


She reminds me of that boss you work with and everyone has one, he or she is clearly incompetent, the living embodiment of the Peter Principle and yet upper management likes 'em:

"Hey Janet, how's it going?"
"Where's Janet?" "She's on vacation." "Good for her."

& the bosses over her will go out of their way for her, bend over backwards and as workers you could never understand it, you scratch your heads on a daily basis until one of you gets up the gonads and asks the relevant question: "whose dick did she suck?" Well you're the one who's gonna get written up but the handwriting was on the wall once she put Savage on that DHS list. That cockbomber on that Christmas plane, basically what she said was nothing to worry about, the system worked just fine. Basically she's Nuts. Even her boss was more angry about the sit'chation but she gets to keep her job, must know where the bodies are buried I guess.

You know about this racial profiling, my friend and I were talking the other day if you have a company chain with branches in different states and this company is just teeming with Italians, most of the honchos are Italian you can't tell me a very small percentage are not affiliated with the Mob in some way, involved in criminality and so you have your Arab lawyers/groups who are pissed off about the situation but we are dealing with a very serious situation here and that is radical assholeism. Now we've dealt with Fascism and Communism in the past, the Cold War and the whole terror movement used to be primarily politically motivated (think Sinn Fein and the Irish Republican Army) but today it seems mainly motivated and inspired by religion so at what point when they're strapping explosives in your undies do you not get that weird feeling (hell I get that weird feeling with some of the people I work with), so at what point in time do you not get that creepy feeling like these folks are not right in the head and my other thought would be why doesn't the Almighty Leader, this OBL guy follow suit and lead by example and hop on a plane himself and hang upside down with a nuclearized corn cob up his ass in some kind of weird masturbation experiment? If you were this guy with a name I can't pronounce let alone spell you'd swear you were being punk'd no??

Yup, better to worry about the Beckster.