Bam: "You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig"

en espanol: "Usted puede poner lapiz de labios en un puerco pero es todavia un puerco."

i'm lovin' it

But Howard Wolfson this begs the question

If the John Edwards scandal would likely have put all his voters in her corner just how did the Hillary Handvac fail to suck up this dirt? When you're watching TV at night sooner or later you have to realize the cat threw up behind the couch, there's a centipede on the rim of your coffee mug, or the mouse that got stuck behind the wall is just now starting to give off those wonderful aromas. Come on Hill, this'd be like on a big fishing expedition for lunker bass catching a bluegill on a strip of baloney on a warmup cast from shore. Losing the old Clinton touch, they have to have a time machine for these things, it must keep you up at night. BTW I bought my copy of the National Enquirer yesterday and got up to speed on that love child, yes my reading range encompasses Atlas Shrugged as well as Mike Walker, it's good to be broad-based as they say.

Guilt

The longer you live the more you become a student of human nature, things you took for granted in the past now form patterns not just for me but I've heard others say this. You're now a detective of the human psyche and of course there's a chance you are wrong but you don't think so. Take insomnia and here I'm talking about the chronic of the chronic cases, those people you come across like at work who never ever seem to get a decent or at least an adequate night's sleep. I'd have to say this is highly unusual, even the big-time insomniacs admit it's an off and on problem. Um, in my book this falls under the "you killed somebody buddy" category, maybe a hit-and-run, who knows? and brings to mind the Bard's classic "Macbeth doth murder sleep" speech. Discussed a person like this with somebody once and she goes "must have so much on his conscience." Or take the person you're ice-fishing with and it's an unusually severe winter, we're talking at least 3 feet of pure ice and just auguring the hole and your body will be sore for the next couple days so the two of you are walking out into the middle of the frozen lake and he goes "don't walk so close to me." Or maybe you're boating with someone else and just coming out of the harbor to catch some monster blues and he goes "don't go so far out" but that's where the blues be. So you start thinking ok so what did he do? It's almost as if they expect to see the Hand of God come up over the cliff ready to smite them, they know their Bad Karma is a couple weeks overdue and they're taking precautionary measures, I mean caution is a good thing and all but what's up with the overcaution? They're not ready to meet the Maker yet. Bishop Sheen was great at seeing through all this and held that unacknowledged or unconfessed guilt create unending neuroses, shadows in the mind. I'm all the listening ear but some people are just a tad off-center is all so the next time that chronic insomniac complains to me sleep sucked again last night and is it time to go home yet I might just pull out of my pocket a "ok, so what did you do?"

The two Joes

I have a question.

You work in an office with two managers named Joe, one of whom is white and the other one black. You don't quite have a handle on the black guy's last name yet and the phone rings and you pick it up. It's for Joe the African-American. If you say on the intercom "black Joe pick up line 2" is that considered racial? Conversely you can also say at another time "white Joe line 1" OR do you just say "Joe pick up line..." and let them both pick it up?

Has McCain lost his mojo?

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wolf Blitzer's CNN show "Late Edition" on Sunday that Obama being the first African-American nominee of a major party is "great for our country. I do think it says we've come a long way." She said she's made her decision who to vote for but wouldn't reveal the answer and denies rumors that she wants to be Obama's VP. She'd be a great choice though. Picking Hillary would only be a reminder of Obama's traditional liberalism, since he is now under the powerful vortex of Z's Law of the Power of Negative Appraisal Condi is the ONLY way to go. Yes, Hillary is sooooo yesterday she's not even assured of the VP slot anymore, you got the black chick in leather boots who has strode the colossus of the World and who can greatly offset his inexperience in the foreign policy arena. An Obama/Rice administration even has, let's face it, a certain sex appeal for those bored with all things McCain and don't worry, she's pro-choice. Won't even be close, it's Kama-Sutra vs. Straight Missionary after a highball, it's the modern Shakespearian version of Batman as opposed to Adam West and Robin and the Batcave, it's Maroon 5 doing a song with Rihanna, it ROCKS!

These chicks have issues

"I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."
(Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood)

"And don't tell me you're sorry when you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught."
(Take A Bow - Rihanna) ~~~btw I always thought this would be a great line a state trooper could use when he pulls you over, he could even sing it~~~

"I learned the hard way
That they all say
Things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks
deep down under you and
Your twisted words your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry."
(Love Song - Sara Bareilles)

I detect a theme here. They really should make this into the Men Suck World Concert Tour of 2008 so I say let the chicks vent. I have to say though I like the Bareilles song, for starters the singer has a very clear voice and you can make out every word without googling lyrics, something I have to do with Fergie and others from time to time. Take it away.

Shades of Gray

From a recent blog of napqueen's at http://www.napqueenspress.blogspot.com/ under "Are Conservatives Stupid? "Liberals can see the gray areas of an issue while conservatives see only black and white and are too stupid (emphasis mine) to see the gray."

Ah yes! I've been patiently waiting for this moment of ultimate clarity. It's the Peter Principle applied to moral philosophy and the result is moral relativism or agnosticism, a marked inability to come to final moral conclusions about things. We've reached our level of incompetence, our Final Placement, we can' t figure out Right from Wrong and we're never to be promoted...and we're happy about it! It's a Cohiba moment.

Z's Law of the Power of Negative Appraisal

A rather potent force in politics, in Life in general and here's how it works. A typical conservative will say something like liberals are pro-abortion or in favor of destroying the unborn. The lib says "oh no that's not us. We're not really for abortion, in fact nobody is, in what universe?" It also works the other way. A typical liberal will say conservatives don' t care at all about the poor and the poor conservative will reply "yeah but we give more." So criticism, especially political criticism, by its very nature exerts a powerful inward pull towards the direction of the position of the critic. So the law of criticism or negative appraisal is for the target to deny the point and then to move gradually towards the critic's stance so all I have to do is make a critical point and look what power I have! Liberals may be from Mars and conservatives from Venus but we take each other's points personally, to heart. This is why Obama has of late made great strides at least towards the political center in his rhetoric, it's all that name-calling in the past that he's a hardcore lib. Of course the exception to Z's Law of the Power of Negative Appraisal are all the left-wing bloggers out there who live in a universe all their own who can't understand one of their own being subject to the same laws of political gravity as the rest of us.

That Cartoon

The now classic New Yorker cartoon with Obama as some sort of anti-American Muslim and his wife as a Black Panther type, McCain was predictably outraged, "tasteless and offensive", but it would have been nice if he had said:

"You know something folks, I have the intellectual capacity to get it. It is so over the top it is obviously intended as some sort of social satire, a parody of right-wing fears of Obama. In fact let's use this as a watershed moment to get rid of Political Correctness once and for all. This PC regime of ours, it's not why I fought for our country. We're all adults here so grow up! BTW Jesse Jackson can't cut these out because they're made of brass."

Alas!

The LAW says go digital

So very early next year you'd better have a digital tv or converter box to convert the signals in your old tv to the new digital format otherwise you just might lose everything brother, not only this it's federal law. Now I'm hardly some techno-nerd but I read somewhere it has to do with using up all that "white space" on all those blank channels or something but already the conspiracists are whispering Big Brother will be watching you. Dunno, I'm more into reading again, Chef Ramsay can only do so much bleeping in one whole hour before I start channel-surfing again, I'm still wondering why The View is an important show basic to the Republic and why Oprah can talk about salacious topics that Stern got in trouble over on mainstream radio. As the bumper sticker goes

WHATEVER

Just something to blog about

Obama told a group of people the black father has been AWOL. Jesse Jackson was doing some show and didn't know his mike was still on and said "he talks down to black people. I wanna cut his nuts off." I don't know, sounds pretty gangster.

I honestly didn't know this

That there are now two, count 'em two, conservatives running in the presidential race. McCain of course and Obama. Obama recently came out for gun rights in D.C., says the ole death penalty can and ought to be used in some restricted but extreme cases (must have boned up on a couple of Dirty Harry DVDs), now says wiretaps without warrants is cool with him so long as there's some kind of Congressional oversight, said something about late-term abortions...let's see what else? That's good to know though and reassuring that no matter how the race turns out we'll have a true conservative in the White House.

Skiing down the slippery slope of gay marriage

The gay marriage deal, it's not so much what they do but the slippery slope. Let this one go and it's bro and sis who wanna get hitched, polygamists, the farmer in the dell.

Modern urban angst. So my friend and I are in this ritzy mall the other day and we're in a very manly Swiss Army type store and I'm just taggin' along, drifting away and then coming back to my pal and so he's paying for something at the counter and the clerk goes to me "you're together, right?" Now two things, I thought of saying something with a pinch, a dash mind you of the old sarcasm as in "no, I'm just following him around" to counter our little urban neuroses in this the age of Jack Jordan or (b) maybe he thought we were a couple ("hey Shaquila, look at them, they're sweet"). Whatever, put it away in the fridge, it'll keep.

Three days without blogging, I feel like there's a squirrel in my head that wants to get out. This weather man, you wake up in the morning and it 's soupy and muggy and just this gray blah sky out there and so you look forward to a day of gliding and sliding. I'd rather be chilling and grilling or waking and baking. So far this summer sucks.

I'm grateful for the little things

having a good night's rest, a family that helps you, a kindly phrase or gesture, a well-turned gam, finding some spare quarters in some pay phone, a girl who will give you the time of day, going to Wendy's during a lull period and five minutes later it gets busy, parking at a meter with alot of leftover time that somebody didn't use, going north on the parkway when the southbound lane is clogged for some reason, driving during July and August without school buses, going to Barnes & Noble with your magazine and actually finding a nice comfy chair without a duff in it and going through a whole day without skid marks.

John McCain's Ralph Nader

Big writeup in today's New York Times (A Candidate Runs to a GOP Chorus of "Don't" by Julie Bosman), former Republican Congressman from Georgia Bob Barr is already on the ballot in 30 states as the Libertarian Party candidate for president and could have a definite Ross Perot influence spoiling McCain's chances. In the article Barr relates the story of a recent meeting in Washington between himself and a group of Republicans who told him "look, we understand why you're doing this. We agree with why you're doing this. But please don't do it." Amusing stuff these self-loathing Republicans. The article goes on to say that while in Congress he voted for the USA Patriot Act and the Iraqi war, led impeachment against Clinton and on the subject of gay marriage introduced the Defense of Marriage Act in '96. He now says he's for a quick withdrawal of troops as in all of them, feels states should have their own say re gay marriage and is against wiretaps without warrants. The Moral of the Story folks, if we had decent candidates to begin with we wouldn't need spoilers and in this case Barr says he got fed up with the Republican Party straying from its roots of controlled spending and limited government. Think of it this way as z just loves the analogy. We as conservative and tradition-minded Republicans are asked to give our hand in marriage to McCain but as all the political universe knows it ain't a passionate thing by any stretch and there's Bob Barr over there winking at us, you sly dog you, and he knows we can do better as if to say "I got it goin' on."

Nancy Pelosi supports the "Fairness Doctrine"

She said that the proposed bill by Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.), called the "Broadcaster's Freedom Act" which would outlaw the "Fairness Doctrine", will not come up for a vote this year and she wants a revival of the "Fairness Doctrine." Dunno what the issue here is exactly. The msm are overwhelmingly liberal, talk radio is strongly conservative, no harm no foul. One side admits their bias, the other doesn't. As John Stossel once noted "asking the media about liberal bias is like asking a fish about water. Water? what water?" & at any rate free market forces have already determined that liberal talk radio is a big loser, does Al Franken and Air America ring a bell?

A recurring theme throughout History - the Ascent of the Psycho

A student of History could write a paper just on this theme alone which is basically people who belonged in lunatic asylums have run empires, countries and nations. Nero, Caligula, Lenin, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Ceausescu and the list goes on and on. As all the world knows Zimbabwean president or to be more specific the technical ex-president, Robert Mugabe, has run his country into the ground, an economic shambles with the usual starvation, mass fear and people trying to leave. Morgan Tsvangirai, leader of the Movement for Democratic Change party, won the election in March but apparently not by a wide enough margin so there was to be a runoff but Mugabe's Zanu-PF goon squads have been intimidating, torturing and killing people so Tsvangirai backed out. Now as usual the United Nations seems impotent to do something, can't get the supplies and humanitarian aid through, doesn't even have a consensus yet as it should over what to do about this 84-year old thug who's been in power way too long. The larger question is what exactly is the purpose of the UN anymore? why are rogue bodies allowed to have a say and can we replace the UN with something else?

George Carlin

When I heard the news my first reaction was he isn't supposed to die, he's just one of our regular social commentators we've gotten so used to. Now the fact that he's "dirty", he's not in the same sense of a Howard Stern, the curse word or the vulgarity is always in the service of some larger social or political point (think Lenny Bruce) not "ooh, look what I said!" Two examples will suffice. In one of his books he talks about all those cashiers who at the end of your transaction say to you "have a nice day" and Carlin would like to say back "just give me my f****n change." He also talks about that family uncle and we all have one who when he comes to visit lets the family dog liberally lick his face so he goes just a few minutes before your uncle lets him do this the dog's been cleaning himself so extremely well that and here Carlin goes on to give a rather coarse but hilarious and explicit description of just how clean your dog really is now. He is z's cup of tea, a kind of bourbon that burns the throat a little going down but you like the effects anyway and if something doesn't agree with you just put it down and go on to something else. I thought I'd add this, a favorite of Tim McCarver's - an idea that only Carlin can think up that somebody should go on Jeopardy and just stand there through the whole program, don't say a word and don't answer any questions and then go home. R.I.P.

Before we get started let's review the Obama ground rules first

At some fundraiser yesterday in Jacksonville Florida our political messiah said:

"We know what kind of campaign they're going to run. They're going to try to make you afraid. They're going to try to make you afraid of me. He's young and inexperienced and he's got a funny name. And did I mention he's black? He's got a feisty wife."

"and did I mention he's black?" well no you just did but now that you mention it I don't care if somebody's green or polka-dot or any shade in between, one term in the Senate does scare the living daylights out of me. Obama is not new, he's same old same old, change we can believe in would be throwing out the race card. And you already see all those political prognosticators and pollsters breaking us all down into racial camps and ethnic voting blocks, "whites won't go for that guy." Well yes many of them would if he were a black conservative, say if Thomas Sowell threw his hat into the ring, hell throw in Armstrong Williams as his vp (hey, now there's a thought). Oy vey, somebody please pass me that bowl of Prozac!

A car is not a cigarette Bloomy

As reported in today's New York Post yesterday in Boca Raton Florida NYC Mike Bloomberg said this: "They should be raising the gas tax encouraging people to reduce consumption. The anti-tax people don't like that but using capitalism to encourage the right behavior is exactly the right direction of going. Tax policy is the way government uses capitalism." No Bloomy, capitalism is just capitalism. If it's a planned economy you're talking about capitalism ceases to be capitalism. Market forces will encourage right behavior. Some pro-choicer you are!!

Republicans first, conservatives second

I know quite a few people who are actually much more conservative than John McCain who unhesitatingly say they are going to pull the lever for him. They're very status-quoish, party loyalty above all. For them he becomes the true conservative in the race by default due to the fact that Obama is so much more liberal than, well anyone including Hillary. By all means vote your conscience but I can't vote this way. Don't become a pragmatic liberal which is really a "conservative" who believes in bigger government. McCain has to talk a conservative game at this point so I can only believe his type of conservative voter believes he's being sincere but you know the old saying, "campaign from the right but rule from the center or left."

A Constitutionalist first

I am at heart a Constitutionalist first before being a libertarian. Put it this way, even if I were a pro-choicer I'd still be against Roe vs. Wade, there ain't no talk of trimesters in the Constitution or even in the emanations of its penumbras. Even if I were a pro-choicer in favor of Adam and Steve getting married I'd still be against what the California Supreme Court did by overturning a clear majority of the voters there. Whasa matter? don't wanna do the legwork in your state legislatures ya lazy bums ya! So even if I were a pro-choicer in favor of gay marriage who feels pot should be sold over the counter at CVS I still wouldn't have a gripe with people who don't want drivers on angel dust plowing into shoppers at crowded shopping malls, would Ben Franklin say that the War on Drugs is somehow wrong-headed and irresponsible as a national policy? The document comes first, not your personal preferences, libertarianism is not the same thing as constitutionalism. As that conservative wag Florence King once quipped "as ye roe so shall ye wade."

Tim Russert 1950-2008

Nothing seems to throw a man's lifework into sharper focus as when he leaves us, we tend to forget. It'll be strange watching "Meet the Press" this Sunday morning without Tim Russert. One of the most common forms of praise we're hearing about him yesterday and today is how unbiased the man was in his journalism, the sentiment most commonly expressed by politicians and everyone else is "he asked tough questions of everyone." I totally agree but the fact that everyone seems to be bringing it up, that it comes so naturally to mind, implies that most of the rest of the msm is just the opposite, otherwise why does this point stand out so clearly? One interview in particular stands out in my mind among many others and that is when he had Al Gore on and asked him his personal views on abortion. He asked the quite simple question three times and Al Gore just kept saying "I support the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision" but that's not what Russert asked him and truth be told Russert irked alot of feminists by his line of questioning. Bravo Tim! it was from the nature of his interviewing that if you didn't know any better you'd never have guessed he was a lifelong Democrat. Bob Newhart once said of himself that, while he has some strong political views "my job is not to educate but to entertain." If you change the last words around and put in "but to practice objective journalism" you have the man Russert. R.I.P.

Confuse people, be nice

Kind of a blanket statement but many neighbors, many people in general, if they're not nasty are at least indifferent, to be indifferent is not necessarily to be mean but a large chunk of the public falls into one of the two groups (or both). So I know this guy who used to live in a large city, neighbors today kind of keep to themselves and don't even say hi, many times you don't even know their names, just a big gray cloud of blah hanging over many sections of the country right now. So anyway the guy moves out to the country and on the second day a man comes up to him and says "good morning, how are you?" and he goes "what?" We had some storms last night, high winds, rain, a Dorothy and Toto watch for the upper areas and this morning the heat finally broke, so some older lady was walking in the street and goes to me "hello, good morning! Beautiful day, isn't it?" so I pause for a sec and then go "it sure is". Not used to it, like my friend says alot of people have a touch of I don't want to help you. I was talking to him at his job once and he went to ask a co-worker a question and he kinda grunted something piglike and kept walking and my friend imitates someone blowing an imaginary dart into your neck aka the societal insult. Used to go ice-fishing alot and I'm parking after a fairly decent snowfall and some guy comes out of his house and offers me his shovel so I can park better and I much appreciated such a rare act of kindness but for a nanosecond there you think maybe he's going back inside to finish his Cap'n Crunch in a skull and you're next. Women are known to blow the darts too so when one finally says to you in the library "you smell nice like you just got out of the shower" it takes time to register, you almost want to verify and confirm that it was an official act of niceness and maybe something more. So if you really wanna confuse the hell out of people be ye kind.

One nation under Prozac

Kind of a theory in progress of mine but seems to me in my day-to-day dealings with people in general and even through just plain observation, couldn't put my finger on it right away but it seems like there's this vast fog out there. People have lost the art of communicating clearly, people drive funny, nobody's coherent, there's some kind of a funk thing going on out there. The conclusion of my theory, most everybody is on something these days and if you're one of the few who isn't and you're totally clear-headed it's like a feeling of being, well, stranded. You have some of the same problems they do but you don't take anything. You can look at the sit'ation rationally, from many different angles, you've been buffeted by Life for sure like everybody else and have the bruises to show for it but you can still drive a car without farting along and drifting totally oblivious to the fact that you've just created a minor traffic jam behind you, you can still clearly communicate your desires to the waiter at your favorite restaurant without your mental fog making his job that much harder, you pay your bills on time and don't whip out your credit card just to pay for some Double 1/4 pounder with cheese at Mickie D's. Dunno, just might want to deal with the Amish these days.

I am proclaiming this day

National Get a Grip Day. Even conservatives have enjoyed the collective orbasm. As you all know by now (except apparently Hillary) Barack Obama is now the 1st black presidential candidate to win his party's nomination. That's cool, it's duly noted, but I don't get all bent out of shape about it. Dick Morris feels we are living in what he calls a post-racial era, dunno, if we were it'd be, to borrow a line from soapie, "BFD, I like pizza and beer." McCain is positively dull by comparison, he's an asterisk, a formality before letting History happen, a future question on Jeopardy, a Sunday crossword question. Hill has no choice but to accept the VP post, that is if Michelle lets her. It ain't the same though, what exactly was Ed McMahon's position again? If you take your conservative political philosophy seriously this is definitely one of those pass the Zoloft elections, either way you look at it Santa is coming on his sleigh with some Big Government goodies, most likely McCain won't be getting the reindeer to mush but he'll be helping hand them out. What's that you say, you don't believe in Santa? stick in the mud.

A referendum on the War

If Obama vs. McCain turns out to be a popular referendum on the Iraqi War Obama wins hands down. It matters not that these people may have originally supported the invasion of Iraq and the toppling of Saddam or if they opposed it from the getgo, it's only 2008 and McCain's gone on the record that the Iraqi campaign should go on 'til 2013 and then he'd withdraw the troops in an orderly fashion after declaring victory there. If a majority of the voting public, whatever their political persuasion, is tired of the war then it matters not what us conservative bloggers have to say, it's a done deal, McCain is toast. Now Obama has gone on the record himself saying to Jim Lehrer "we need to be as careful getting out as we were reckless going in", McCain is just same old same old and will go the way of what's-his-name hawking Viagra in a few years. I see one positive in a President Obama, RINOS out to pasture.

keeping it psycho

Channel-surfing last night and came across "Dateline NBC" and on came these women who had planned on putting out hits on their husbands only thing is they were really contracting out to an "undercover hitman", really a cop. Chris Hansen, of "To Catch of Predator" fame, narrated. Now what's scary, truly disturbing, is not that this is supercommon, it isn't, but it's common enough, these psycho chicks are out there. Every woman was casual about the whole thing, in the "transactions" they talked about it like grocery shopping or getting their hair done. We are living in the Golden Age of the Psycho folks and in the past these ladies had the edge since, as everyone knows, paranoia is

a bad thing

but Chris Hansen is onto their little game. It's all a cheapening of life, blame Roe if you want, blame relativism too, it all made for interesting, even fascinating television in a weird way. What makes this so hard is people don't walk around wearing t-shirts saying "I'm crazy". There's an old joke, an old saying, the people who act the most weird, the most eccentric, the most out-of-the-box or whatever are really not the ones to worry about, it's some of the normal folk out there but they go right under the radar screen because our weirdster alert is up. I like Chris Hansen's journalism more each day, it's groundbreaking in its own way. Kudos.

Your insensitive, politically incorrect Id at work

Had a dream the other night and it went like this. I was in the front of my house and a young black man passed by and stopped, nicely dressed in a casual way. Maybe new in town, kinda quiet and we just had a decent snowfall so to break the ice and be a friendly sort I suggest we build a snowman. Still kind of aloof so I try some humor and go "maybe we can stick a crackpipe in his mouth". Now many people still don't get this, humor in general, and the better comics will tell you it's not your intent to perpetuate stereotypes but to make fun of those very same stereotypes kinda like your Muslim friend you see on his cell phone and you say "what? do you have OBL on speed-dial?" It's whole purpose is to take the sting out of it and sometimes they laugh and sometimes they don't (more often it's the latter these days). It's humor, it need not come with a set of Monarch Notes, and you trust people to know what a NUANCE is. Anyways in my dream-sequence I'm like OH NO! the guy ain't laughing, he looks a little angry and that was kind of the end of it, off to another dream but I think the whole moral of the dream is that some jokes are best left in your head. Oh no, did I just blog about this?

Her remarks are not so much offensive...

...as confusing. Hillary met with the editorial board of the Sioux Falls (S.D.) Argus Leader the other day and said she couldn't understood the forces that be that want her to end her campaign. She emphasized that Bill didn't win the Democratic nomination in '92 until mid-June when the California primary was held and then the killer line: "and we all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California." Now in order to be offended we have to understand what was said first but on this one it wasn't so much I was offended as WTF! She later clarified that what she meant was that the Democratic Party has had primary contests that go into June. I call this having a nanosecond of insanity moment, kinda like when you're sleepwalking and think there's a squirrel in your room and you come to your senses and say WTF! It happens so quick, she had some neuron or two temporarily misfire, happens. Obama should have shut up, he'll have a nanosecond or two himself and he won't know when, it'll just come out as some involuntary sneeze/burp before he can stop it, there but for the grace of God. OF COURSE it could be a symptom of her impending meltdown.....

Denver angst

Now Hill says she's gonna take it all the way to Denver regardless saying she has more of the popular vote than Obama. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi politely explained on one of the morning shows today that it's the delegates that count and she's lacking in that department but that doesn't take into account her gargantuan ambition. Hillary will overthrow the Universe to become Commander-in-Chief if need be and may take this baby into Christmas. It's been said she's positioning herself for 2012, I don't think so, she wants 2012 to be her second term. To paraphrase that new one from Fergie the girl can't help it.

I've heard of sleepwalking but sleepdriving?

So I'm channel-surfing last night and rooting for my favorite Idol star to triumph,

David

I always thought David was by far and away the best, Dave sure can sing, what a voice that David has

so anyway in between I caught some "Frontline" about depression, some guy with it was showing all the pills he took to battle it, 5 or 6 of 'em, some to combat the side effects of the others like weight gain, real trial and error stuff and I'm like dude, just deal with it. Anyway on another station on comes this ad for the sleepaid Ambien CR, not just one layer like other sleepaids to help you fall asleep but a second layer to help you stay asleep, one possible side effect being driving while not fully awake.

Police Sergeant: "Do you know we clocked you doing 65 mph going down the wrong lane on the freeway? You coulda killed someone!!!"

Ambien Patient: "Yeah but I sure did get a good night's rest though and that's the important thing."

Geraldine Ferraro, old party hack

She's been touting the line that opposition to Hillary, especially in the msm, is sexist by nature. To be against her is to be sexist by definition. Real Gloria Steinem stuff, people stuck in cultural timewarps. Yes, dinosaurs still roam the Earth folks but here's why the T. Rexes are wrong. Think about it, think about the courts, the culture, our laws. Almost everything is seen through a women's eyes these days, her perspective from child-custody cases in divorce proceedings to Anucha Brown Sanders & oh, don't pay your child support you're a Deadbeat Dad facing some serious jail time. To take a man's view these days or even to consider it is considered retrograde. Whatever animates political opposition to Hillary it ain't this but there Ferraro was on the Today show this morning still talking like it's 1968. Now as has been already pointed out by some conservative commentators this is fascinating stuff to watch, this identity politics thing which is now so firmly entrenched in Democratic Party machinery. You have an African-American dude running, you have an older liberal chick in the race, it's like Ferraro is saying we'd sooner rid ourselves of our latent racism rather than our sexism. We're living in the Age of the Ism only now we have different schools of thought as to which Ism is more important, it's kinda like, how do I say? Al Sharpton and Gloria Allred oil-wrestling (sorry) with those superdelegates in the audience tired of the whole thing. Now what would have really made this race even more interesting than it already is would be for a Gay Guy to run.

Liberals hoist by their own petard

Now if we posit that racism is a part of human nature, I've heard a few libs in my day assert such a universal "truth", then it should cut across the board, no? Like when some social conservative brings up the racist philosophy of Planned Parenthood's founder, eugenicist Margaret Sanger, and why are so many abortion clinics located in so many poor urban areas and NO, their liberal anger at such an accusation, it's like you're a rightie version of the Rev. Jeremiah Wright but I mean if we're all racists deep down and we have to work on this...

I'm not a liberal...

...I just have liberal positions (Obama)

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm an alcohol abuser" (Billy Joel to Katie Couric)

I'm not a criminal, I just commit crimes.

I'm not a drug dealer, I just sell drugs.

I'm not a stalker, I just follow people (the old Jack Jordan line)

Welcome to the general election buddy!

Bush made some recent noise about those liberal "appeasers" of terrorists, those who want to compromise and talk with them and Obama took great offense at having his manhood questioned and so Bush and friends said

"were we talking about you brother?"

just a flava of the upcoming election brotherman, get used to it. Now Obama has gone on record as saying he would meet with the leaders of such rogue nations as Iran, Syria and North Korea and now doesn't like to be called a pansy on foreign policy. He'd rather it all be a game of whiffle ball between himself and Mac, softball even and he'll choose the umpire.

chin music bro, don't crowd the plate like that

but if you ask me this McCain guy seems in it to win it and now you can't even use the Hagee thing against him 'cause the good Rev just apologized to the Catholic League but you seem to have gotten a bad case of the cooties from that Wright guy and they don't seem to be going away. Then there's that Weatherman and I ain't talkin' 'bout Sam Champion. Dude, things are gonna get off the hook after your Convention and you can't keep quoting from your Emily Post Rules of Etiquette that you have tucked under your arm. Toughen up! grow a pair.

Some homey sayings

They say this in the kitchen alot: "If you have time to lean you have time to clean."

Saw this one in a restroom once: "If you sprinkle while you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat."

On an edgy t-shirt: "It's funny until somebody gets hurt, then it's hilarious." (hmmm...don't know about that one)

"I used up all my sick time, now I'm calling in dead."

"Don't hate, participate" (we've covered that), "people who live inside your head" (like that poor man's Kennedy neighbor we all have, he's strictly middle-class but has clout, knows some bigshots and can park on the street cleaning side w/o getting a ticket), "people who masturbate your mind" (like what Obama is doing right now with practically everybody except a few lonely bloggers)

"the great mental flush" like when you dream all night about practically everything, your mind's way of going through your mental dumpster, didn't think that job of so many years ago could still haunt your dreams huh?

"I'm not afraid of dead people, I'm afraid of live people" (very apropos in this day & age) and finally,

"It's a great life if you don't weaken."

You may have heard

about the troubles currently besetting Staten Island Republican Rep. Vito Fossella, preached "family values" his whole life but got arrested recently for a DWI but more importantly, at least in terms of the media, is the revelation that, although married and a family guy, he had an extramarital affair with a lady, she got in the family way herself and bore him a daughter. Now there are calls in some quarters for him to resign but what I don't get, if you take out the DWI from the equation, our friend and hero Bill Clinton got away with hummers right there in the Oval Office (or in some hallway just off the library way there) with an intern no less, he was impeached for perjury in the Paula Jones sexual harassment case relating to this matter but he became stronger over time, he even seemed more popular after the sex stuff. T-shirts appeared out of nowhere in trendy malls across the nation - "so he had an affair, get over it" - and one guy told me "so what, my 401K is doing great", so what's the BIG DEAL about this Fossella guy anyway?

I'd sooner read a tube of toothpaste

than read Barbara Walters' new book Audition which, during one interview on a radio station here, she said would make a wonderful Mother's Day gift. Every book has to have a hook to sell and hers is her Affair. I was never into Barbara Walters, she once famously asked Katherine Hepburn "if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?" (oh I don't know, a weeping willow?) Never much was into celebrity worship anyway, hated those pre-Oscar specials where she'd chat up three big-time celebrities. I myself, if I met a celebrity today could care less to ask for their autograph, don't care if I have a mini-Mead memopad on me, that's for shopping lists and such. They all be so interesting during the Big Interview but I believe Don Rickles once said it best when he said of the famous they all go on the throne like us regular folk or words to that effect & don't bother those bigger bombshells, they of the golden, um, womb, 1/2 of 'em are already reserved for horndog crooner John Mayer anyway and kudos-cubed for ex-View co-host Star Jones' recent commentary on l'affaire Babs, it was refreshing. Now if she were to put the rest of her thoughts in print I'd be the first on line at Barnes&Noble.

Talk about baggage

Obama looks like he's getting ready to board JetBlue! There's the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, then there's his longstanding friendship with 70's Weatherman terrorist and radical Bill Ayers, we have Obama's recent elitist comments at that SanFran get-together, and then there's his book in which he rather casually talks about his little bit of casual pot and coke use in his youth when times were rough ("a little pot, a little blow but no smack").

a little Samsonite action

...toothbrush (check), clean underwear (check), socks (check)...

"Sir, can I help you with that?"

That's mighty white of you

Why is it ok for Obama to talk of his support among African-Americans but Hillary can't talk about her support among middle-class working-class whites without college degrees? So what's up with organized punditry these days? they all speak with the same voice and this echo chamber insists Hillary leave now and cede the nomination to Obama or else risk tearing the very fabric of the Democratic Party apart. Whence comes this melodramatic hyperbole? (yes, I can out-Will George Will at times) In the olde days the longer and more drawn out and fierce a primary season was it was all good, now we have our candidate and he's gone through our crucible, should be the right guy (or gal) for the job. The chattering classes have got it all wrong, the real question is not should she drop out but is he even sellable in the general election against McCain? The Cult of Obama has gotten everyone, including even many prominent conservatives, totally disoriented and off-center. Wake up and smell the coffee people and pundits, who do you really want answering that phone at 3 in the AM?

anti-smoking ads

They've gotten more gruesome but the latest one, some woman who lost the tips of her fingers, now they're just stubs, has something to do with bone shear but I would hazard a week's salary and go out on a limb here and say the vast majority of smokers know it's bad for you, ok, so knowing this they've made their choice so what's the point of all these ads? I thought we were pro-choice here.

Alot of African news going on

Don't know if you 've heard, it was the smallest squib in the NY Post somewhere in the middle yesterday, but the other day a U.S. Navy ship in the Indian Ocean launched some cruise missiles deep into Somalia killing the al-Qaeda leader there, the notorious 30-old Aden Hashi Ayro. Also killed were Ayro's brother and ten of his top lieutenants. Then there's Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe and his refusal to step down graciously after losing an important election to the leader of the opposition party, Morgan Tsvangirai, head of the Movement for Democratic Change. Mugabe of the ZANU-PF party says it was 47.9% to 43.2% in which close case there's supposed to be some kind of run-off or something but Tsvangirai says he won by 50.3% and therefore things were rigged. Elsewhere there's a critical food shortage in Malawi, the main meal everyday from aide workers consists basically of your porridge, no Mickie D's or pizza joints over there. As a sidenote someone once gave me a small bag of Malawi gin, not bad.

It's not all about Paula, Miley, Britney, UMA, Lindsay or Jeremiah. There be another world out there and I'm glad to see the Bush Administration not so exclusively focused on Iraq anymore, there are many al-Qaeda cells in Africa, there have been embassies bombed there but it's all about "The Insider" these days and who crooner John Mayer is bedding or Patrick Dempsey being named by "People" magazine as sexiest man alive. So kudos to the Newshour with Jim Lehrer for their heavy focus on African issues recently, too bad even they were forced to cover Eliot Spite-zer's sex life not that long ago but they were forced to since he was a sitting governor, it's not like they had a panel discussion on Paula's Idol confusion (no, not one of us ever woke up not knowing what day it was or forgot somebody's name at work). Tabloid journalism, it's like when you were young and your Mom said to eat an orange when there's a box of Devil Dogs on top of the breadbox.

Would you argue with God?

or why even conservatism tends towards moral relativism in the end, aka liberalism

Steamtable Catholicism got me thinking. I mentioned there that even many of those staunch conservative and tradition-minded Catholics don't care to fully partake of that item known as Catholic Just War Doctrine which, honestly applied, holds that the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was ethically wrong. Has nothing to do with politics per se, one very important principle of the Church's teaching is that you cannot deliberately target innocent civilian populations in time of war, ok. Now I would hazard a guess most modern-day conservatives support Truman's action but the question before the board today is this - would you argue with God? Put another way, let's say when we go before God someday he kindly explains to us that by His Divine Reckoning that particular action was grossly immoral, would we still stubbornly hold to our positions and even argue the point before Him or would we humbly admit our mistake and errors in our moral reasoning? It's a rhetorical, theoretical question and can be applied to any issue under the sun, I'm using this one today because of the vast majorities who still say we did the right thing. The arguments advanced for the bombing all smack of moral relativism, pragmatism and I really need not repeat them here, the salient point being most people don't seem to care but what does God think? Shouldn't the moral compass of a religious and spiritual nation be higher than this?

Would you argue with God? (Honorable mention goes to conservative thinkers Joe Sobran, Pat Buchanan and the late Russell Kirk for opposing the use of the Bomb)

Row row row your boat

Maybe the Rev. Wright is really a closet Hillary supporter. Political reporter Fred Dicker over at the NY Post says he's bitter over Obama's "betrayal" and that's why he unloaded the other day. Whatever, some friends just have a penchant for always embarrassing you. Fished with a guy once on a large lake, two nice girls were sunbathing on a large rock and we were fishing in the area. Nice time to strike up a conversation, no? But I know how the guy is, with a couple beers under his belt the guttural slob side comes out so I just ignored the situation and rowed as far away from them as possible (if need be I had my line down pat: "No, I don't know this guy. He's homeless and I just picked him up. I'm dropping him off at the bridge so he can hitch a ride."). So what Obama needs to do, when the Rev. has a few Snapples and has to pull into shore to use a tree Obama needs to shove his johnboat off when he's not looking and just strand him there and continue rowing rowing rowing. Yeah, when he's finished and he zips himself up Obama will see him in the distance yelling and screaming and waving his arms but this is supposed to be a serious campaign, no? So the wind be against you brother, a little more muscle on that left oar.

You go girl!

Reading about Anucha Brown Sanders going crazy at some auction, bidding on everything in sight, she of suing Isiah Thomas for sexual harassment fame, and there's nothing like 11 mil to make your pain go away and I've been wondering is this progress? Feminists have had their day in the sun but I think much of sexual harassment law actually encourages women to see themselves as victims and I don't see how this empowers women. Celebs taking their secret admirers to court, now the UMA guy is a certified nutbag but what I really think bothers these gals is they don't want some average Joe going after them, they'd rather have Denzel or Leo DiCapricio, I mean DiCaprio. Was Anita Hill a pioneer or did she set women back? and whatever happened to that time-honored tradition of just slapping a man across his face? You see the morning paper gives z a little agita. Anucha, go easy with your windfall, you're making your sisters look bad.

More on the Rev. Jeremiah Wright,

Now the z-man blog is all about having a different angle and so it seems to me righties can criticize American society all they want, Malkin can bash our pornofied culture to her heart's content and yet her patriotism is never called into question, ditto Maggie Gallagher and our divorce culture, Laura Ingraham and our abortion culture and yet I agree much with what all three have to say on these matters. Lefties can't do this though over their pet issues like economic, social and racial injustice and so it seems to me the right to criticize your own country cuts one way which is not to say the Rev. Wright is not radical and bombastic but I'm just trying to make sense of our current political climate. Maybe it has to do more with the way we express ourselves, after all Laura has never called for the bombing of abortion clinics on her side of the aisle, and the Right generally being critical of conspiracy theories in general (so what Mad Scientist invented the AIDS virus pray tell?). But since we be on the subject of conspiracy theories why doesn't the Rev. Wright give a major speech on the origins of Planned Parenthood, the racism of its founder Margaret Sanger and why doesn't he see the abortion of black babies as a silent form of genocide? There's alot on the plate here so chow down!

The AmChurch

Bob Novak, in today's column, talks about some major Catholic pro-abortion politicians who received Communion during the two masses celebrated by Pope Benedict XVI during his six-day stay here. They are House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Sens. John Kerry, Christopher Dodd and Edward M. Kennedy on the Democratic side and Rudolph Guiliani on the RINO side. The three Dems received the sacred host at Nationals Park in Washington courtesy of Archbishop Donald Wuerl there and Guiliani at Yankee Stadium courtesy of New York Cardinal Edward Egan although I heard on the radio just now that Egan says he was against Guiliani's action and agrees with the Pope's declaration on the matter. I call this the Bob Novak Effect, just like when he nailed Hillary and her plans to get and broadcast dirt on Obama and she immediately denied that so now Cardinal Egan is saying, in so many words, that this impeccable and well-respected journalist of many decades standing has his facts wrong. As I keep saying there's the official Roman Catholic Church headed by the pope in the Eternal City with its official and unchangeable doctrines and dogmas and then there's the AmChurch (American Church). Gotta love that Bob Novak Effect though, it's off the hook.

What I don't get...

...is many of the same African-Americans who are today condemning and denouncing the verdict in the Sean Bell case once were cheering and overjoyed when O.J. was acquited.

Why a Hillary vs. McCain contest could swing towards Hillary

To begin even his most "ardent" conservative supporters readily admit he's not 100% or 80% or even 70% conservative,

ERGO (big Latin word for "therefore"),

he has a liberal side which leads me to believe that many of those voters who are liberally disposed, either center or left-of-center would go for him, ergo they might figure if we go for him why don't we just go for her? Ronald Reagan, now he was a bona-fide conservative (for the most part, yeah I'm aware of the deficits rung up during the Reagan years) and he attracted a mainly conservative vote, even those blue-collar Dems who crossed party lines were also social conservatives but the punditocracy (of which z is a member now I guess) says that McCain will garner all kinds of votes. Like maybe the Republican Party, aka the Stupid Party, is shooting itself in the foot over this one and when he loses he'll be hawking Viagra too in a couple years like what's his name? I know this liberal guy, he's a hardcore Democrat and a good friend, and we were talking one day at work, this was a couple years before even these primaries, and he said he wouldn't mind seeing McCain in the Oval Office one day, he was the one who brought up the subject and he went further and said he'd even vote for him, now what does that say?

Jimmy Carter still thinks he's president

So I see his picture in the paper today, all serious and pensive like a sitting president, and he's been trying to broker a big Mideast peace package by, among other things, talking to the leader of the terrorist group Hamas. Must miss the Anwar Sadat/Menachem Begin days but I'm beginning to think we have a budding syndrome on our hands here just waiting for a name, ex-presidents who can't just retire and go away and hit the links but

get involved,

perhaps in his own mind he still sees himself as a great president, dunno, maybe this is one symptom of the syndrome as yet to be named but it annoys, geez guy, gas lines were high, 'member? and you took in a whole boatload or two or three of rogue criminals from Cuba courtesy of ole Fidel, go home and rent a classic movie, know what I'm sayin'?

RETIRE ALREADY!!!