I can only take so much male bonding

I've been running into some old buddies of late and we've been getting together. Couldn't have come at a better time as I've been suffering of late from severe spells of ennui which is a fancy French word describing overwhelming boredom with Life in general. So you all go out and do your thing and enjoy each other's company and reminisce but it all seems ever so slightly

gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)

You start feeling like a roving bunch of faggots, hey maybe we can, um, "rest" at one of those stops on the interstate on our way to the Mall, get a little Jim McGreevey action in. It always seems lost buddies you come in contact with later in life, never lost loves. There are no.....possibilities. You're both eating your burgers and drinking your Coronas (oh, such a manly brew!) and you look across the table at your pal and wish he had breasts and a nice pair of gams with that oh so intoxicating perfume. I can only take so much male bonding. I desperately need some McCounseling.People who masturbate your mind