He's been retired for years now, after his seminal talk show finally went off the air, well he had no choice what with the Big O and all, he hooked up with MSNBC with a more political type show that failed and now he's made an anti-Iraq war movie, "Body of War." So here's what's up with Phil, he wants to be relevant again like in the good old days when he'd have on his show some sexually active grandmother and he takes her hand and says "God bless you grandma" all at 4:30 in the afternoon when the kids just got home from school and Mom's making some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some "more Ovaltine Mom" in the kitchen. It's like this, everyone has either a talk show or a blog these days, hell the local dogcatcher even has a blog, so Phil sees everyone on the bridge with their fishing poles leaning against the rails and sitting on their white buckets that they keep the snappers in and he
wants to get in there too,
"Hey buddy, can I have a cold one? How's the action?" "Pretty damn good, everyone's gotten something today, guy's got a monster blue over there" so he runs home and gets his spincaster, hasn't used it in awhile and hopes the line still holds, it's old and so he squeezes himself in next to the other anglers, "hey, is that Joe Scarborough?", only thing is he ain't catching anything, everything he does post-retirement is a big fat flopperoony.
So I hear Bill's been defending Hillary's version of sniper fire in Bosnia and she's like it ain't helping, darling dearest hubby why don't you STFU?
I have to admit I'm enjoying this one, let me read it again and while I'm waiting for my own fish to bite enjoy this one:
ReplyDeleteHenny Youngman had this to say about people we can't stand, "I know you have to be somebody but why do you have to be you?"
I have to admit though that I'm impressed, I didn't know Donahue could do a non-penis related topic.
ReplyDeletei think he should've been given something healthier to do like host "the price is right".
ReplyDeleteThe phallus is his rudder, his guiding star, he's strayed too far off-course.
ReplyDeleteI concur, very good stuff today, put a smile on my face with the mental imagery. But I do like Drew Carey hosting the Price is Right, so I have to disagree with chachmaster there.
ReplyDeleteAs to the Bill messing things up for Hillary, there is this very liberal woman also working temporarily at my dad's office for tax season who was mentioning Bill doing that. Even she said "they have such a dysfunctional marriage" and its the first time I ever agreed with her on something, lol.
ReplyDeleteno really, he could turn it into a gay-themed price is right, make the yodeler gay, have all-male models, really politicize the show, showcase #2 a voyage on a cruise ship that does abortions, stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteNow the central part of his movie is this Iraqi war vet who's paralyzed and now opposes the war. Here's the way I see it, when you sign up to be a soldier, make it your career choice, you have to be aware of what kind of a choice you've made. You don't have veto power over any president who decides to send you to war, right or wrong, and you have to know there's a very good chance of being seriously injured. If this is not fully clear from the getgo don't be a soldier.
ReplyDeleteChachmater: the next Mark Burnett!
ReplyDeleteyou can call me papa chach
ReplyDelete