I'll have an LGBTQ hold the mayo

 So far Five Guys haven't changed their name to Five Gays but we do have or had DEI sprinkled throughout society until Trump outlawed them.  He's issued executive orders on everything that annoys him and has even given orders on statues and monuments.  He's taken over the Smithsonian and Kennedy Center why I don't know.  Maybe he wants to hold an awards ceremony for himself.  He's issued tariffs on cars but has said to car makers don't pass the added cost onto prospective car buyers.  Ok no prob DUH.  Nothing yet about the price of eggs or Fancy Feast.  No real bread and butter issues to date just side issues and strange personal obsessions.  BTW can we still honor the memory of Sidney Poitier?

IMO Puerto Rico is the best candidate for the 51st state

 It's not controversial, many people could probably get behind the idea and it's already a U.S. territory.  Mexico - If Mexico became a part of the United States the illegal Mexicans crossing over would no longer be illegal but would simply be crossing state lines.  Problem solved or at least half the problem anyway.  Watching OAN last night and OAN bemoaning we lost that expansionist spirit where did it go?  Oh yes PR doesn't have any of them rare earth minerals and PR and Mexico apparently have no strategic military importance but just sayin'.  Sure China and Putin are vying for influence in the Artic but Puerto Rico could be an easy pickup if expansionism is your thing.  It could be a historic part of your legacy if nothing else so why are Trump and Vance bullying the Greenlanders?  We already have a military base there and you're pissing off NATO.  In the meantime folks be wondering whatever happened to lowering the price of groceries?

Maybe next time add a Houthi to a group chat?

 Maybe someday you'll be able to get Yemen war plans on your Smart TV.  If I was new to blogging struggling to come up with a name during the early days of the 2nd Trump Administration it would have just hit me in the shower,

You Can't Make This Shit Up

Meanwhile JD Vance is going to join his wife Usha in Greenland for a creepy visit upcoming. See the sights dine on whatever Greenlanders eat and exert some pressure.  A kind of friendly Mafioso sitdown.  Is  Musk going to abolish the DMV?  The dismantled DOE workers where do they wind up slicing deli meats?  I get the OAN channel crystal clear in these parts and some nights host Riley Lewis looks like he's going to uncork one.  The erstwhile sensible National Review is all MAGA now.  Lonely.  Maybe I'll go smoke a pipe with Mitch McConnell. 

You know it would all make sense if I was involved in a horrible car accident and wound up in a comatose state and this was all a bad dream.  The Orange Man is real though.  It'll all be over in 3 years and 10 months if we have a country left.

Dunno. I just want my president to act human ya know?

 IMHO Trump entered his second term in an antagonistic attack mode itching for fights.  For instance he could have just deported those Venezuelan gangbangers simply on the grounds they're here illegally instead of invoking some long-forgotten wartime act although Judge Boasberg still comes across as your stereotypical soft on crime leftist judge.  Musk -  DOGE sees fraud and corruption everywhere.   Musk would probably see waste and abuse in the cemetery business.  Time to let this corporatist bastard go.  Let him concentrate on flying around the rings of Saturn or whatever suits his fancy.  Trump goes in and out of the clear state (e.g. Greenland).  He's half mental but Republicans and conservatives are enabling him for some reason.

Pop a Prozac. 

Usha Vance to watch national dogsled race in Greenland

 You can't make this shit up.  Not on my bucket list.  Maybe Vance's wife will spot a Yeti.  No word yet on whether Homan's going.  Is that where all the fentanyl comes from?  Musk and Trump might share a naked sauna together to discuss further government budget cuts.

I wasn't invited.

The richest man on the planet is coming for your retirement savings

 When is the Right going to wake up and smell the coffee?  That's the kind of woke I'd like to see.  MAGA let in the Trojan horse.

The Stranded guide to home improvement

 Hire a contractor.  I only go so far with DIY.  I have a toilet plunger.  Ever browse through those home improvement forums?  Your head swims after awhile.  What in heck are they talking about?  Recently learned what a stud finder is and it has nothing to do with Andrew Cuomo.  I know how to change a light bulb.  Just had my attic ladder fixed and went up there to clean up.  What in hell happened?  Did a squirrel have a party up there?  Growing up I went up there A LOT.  Now my bones are creaking.  For the cost of home improvement they should abolish the property tax.  BTW where is my 5K DOGE check?  I want to do some things.

It's not conservatism it's rule by oligarch

 Breaking with my fellow conservative bloggers.  I do not celebrate thousands of federal workers across multiple agencies losing their jobs.  I do not support massive tariffs levied against our allies.  I am against trying to censor and punish pro-Palestinian speech on campus.  Re Trump's tailspin into dementia or whatever it is if Canada and Greenland did become U.S. states how many electoral votes would they hold?  How would the new Canadians and Greenlanders lean politically?  I'm thinking Canada to the Left.  WHO elected Elon Musk???  He's our de facto president on the domestic side of things.  The sentiment among many people I've talked to is he needs to go and these are middle-of-the-road people not radicals.  Go back to running Tesla and Space X and whatever else.  Go to Mars and start a colony if you want I'm not a fanboy.  We need to grow up.  Stop blaming Dems and lefties all the time.  Trump's nuttery is the issue at least for now.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Will probably go down as the weirdest Administration in U.S. history

 At the risk of making a low-effort post scanning the newsfeeds this morning and it's hard to make a coherent post about Trump because his actions are incoherent.  Do you want to spend an extra 12K for a new car?  Would Kamala Harris have pushed us into a recession?  Meanwhile Bibi has cut off all food, supplies and electricity into Gaza (again) but Trump wants to crack down on pro-Palestinian speech on campus instead.

If Biden truly was the worst president in U.S. history as Trump says Trump seems to be vying for the #2 spot.

The bird flu recessionary president?

 It's too soon to tell but Trump might be slated for this spot in history.  At any rate it's a far cry from his campaign promises.

Will Dennis Rodman be a tour guide?

 Fun place to visit wouldn't want to live there.  North Korea looking to bolster and rejuvenate its international tourism industry since the pandemic.  Already some Russians have seen the sights.  Hmmm...,,,reading just now Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un launching a crackdown on drinking.  There goes the Christian Brothers.  As the price of eggs here continue to soar Trump is thinking condos on North Korea's eastern shoreline.  Kim likes to execute wayward government officials with an anti-aircraft gun from time to time.  It's not on my vacation list.  Neither is the Middle East.  In Germany you can now be arrested for posting insults to politicians online.  In Scotland you can apparently be arrested in your own home for praying if you live too close to an abortion clinic or so I've heard.  Ukraine no.  I think I'll stay home.

While the shitshow continues

 

What did you do last week?  Can you justify it?  I notice consumer confidence has sank, the price of eggs keeps rising and it costs more to feed our pets.  The ambiguous duo Musk and Trump keep bullying and acting like co-monarchs.  More important to secure a mineral rights deal with Ukraine whatever the heck that means.  A proper federal worker response to Musk's emails about what they did last week might be I was just standing around with my thumb up my ass.  Who put the nerdboy in charge of the country anyway? 

What to do in the meantime

 

Some of the federal workers who have been fired have been offered their jobs back.  It's all getting very confusing.  Meanwhile Musk is going to use some AI program to evaluate workers' responses as to how they justify their jobs.  What does ChatGPT think?

The dork with a chainsaw

 I'm just waiting for some sense of normality from this Administration but we're not getting it.

You gotta be careful with those things.  Musk had a chainsaw at CPAC but I recently bought a polesaw at Lowe's last summer to cut up some dead branches in the backyard.  Dealt with a lot of dead branches down through the years from Yonkers storms.  The polesaw is a version of a chainsaw a handy tool for dealing with unwanted small trees on your property or at least when the limbs pose a problem.  Only used it a couple of times.  Tricky getting the chain tension just right.  Came off a couple of times while testing it out no harm.  I wouldn't hire Musk.  A nerd with a power tool scares me.  Don't know if he even knows how to use a condom.

The weird theater is becoming tiresome.  Will Trump sign off on the House plan to cut Medicaid and break a campaign promise?  Maybe it's time to free himself from Musk.  This bromance can't last forever.

Trump reminds me of Mr. Mayhem on the Allstate commercials

 Shock and Awe.  The DOGE.  Have Musk and Trump showered together yet?  Do we really need cancer research?  When am I going to get my tax refund?  Will Trump change the street cleaning days in Yonkers?  Layoffs of thousands of federal workers.  When can I expect my first DOGE check?  Will Medicaid still cover nurse visits?  When is ICE coming to Yonkers?  Trump wants Zelensky to pay the money back with rare earth minerals.  Like what?  Hannity was more interested in what Musk had to say.  Why does Musk want the personal details of millions of Americans?  When are we going to Mars?

Chaos.

I'm sorry, what?

 So I'm reading on my phone Sen. Ted Cruz is in talks with Denmark about purchasing Greenland.  Why Cruz?  Why not the My Pillow guy?  How come Ronald Reagan never thought of this?  Welcome to the political Twilight Zone.  The bizarre Trump presidency continues. 

Do we really need health inspectors?  You know those folk who protect us from things like rancid meat.  With this billionaire punk nothing is off the chopping block.  Musk is not interested in the policy of attrition.  Say a company or agency has too many workers when they leave or retire you don't replace them.  Not dramatic enough.

A LONG four years with the joyless prick in office.  What does Melania think?

Everything but the cost-of-living

 Being a foreign policy hero.  The DOGE.  The term "government efficiency" always strikes me as an oxymoron.  When is Homan going to go after the lettuce pickers, the masonry workers, the diner cooks and the fence installers?  Is Trump going to tariff the Aleutian Islands?  A Trump Hotel on the Gaza Strip?  Panama Canal. Greenland.  Canada.  Gulf of America.  Rare Earth minerals in Ukraine.  Cutting the Defense budget in half.  Would Reagan have done such a thing?  Dementia in overdrive.  Why doesn't he make a peace treaty with the fairies?  The MAGA cult and OAN applaud his every move. EVERYTHING but the price of eggs and Fancy Feast.

Oy vey!

You don't suppose Musk can send me a stimulus check for the price of eggs

 Taking a chainsaw to government.  How much is Homan's budget btw?  When is Trump gonna lower my grocery bill?  He said during the campaign it would happen "very rapidly" (his words).  What's his obsession with the Gulf of Mexico?  There's not even a movement behind this.  Has he forgotten about Greenland?  So much on his plate.  About the only good thing is he wants to open up the JFK files.

It's wearying.  I might devote the rest of his term blogging about cats.

Trump wants to get rid of the penny

 Have to agree with him here.  He has instructed the Treasury Department to stop minting new pennies calling it wasteful.

I have tons of pennies at home accumulated down through the years that I don't know what to do with.  I could put them into those little coin wrappers but I got better things to do with my time.  Could take them to the Coinstar kiosk at the local supermarket but again other things on my plate.  Don't know my true net worth because I haven't counted them yet.  Ain't gonna remodel the kitchen with it.

A total waste.  Trump is right.  Won't even get you a bus ride these days.

Make America Great Again just not yet

 Or as my Momma used to say it has to get worse before it gets better.

I think;)