...I just have liberal positions (Obama)
"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm an alcohol abuser" (Billy Joel to Katie Couric)
I'm not a criminal, I just commit crimes.
I'm not a drug dealer, I just sell drugs.
I'm not a stalker, I just follow people (the old Jack Jordan line)
lol, of course denial is the first phase people go through.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a moderate, I'm just not that conservative (John McCain)
ReplyDeleteI've had at last count 8 abortions but I'm not pro-abortion, I'm pro-choice (the Whoopi Goldberg Mindblender)
I hate with a passion something that doesn't exist (Chris "Hellbound" Hitchens)
"I'm not anti-social, I just hate people." ;-)
ReplyDelete- yours truly
...wondering though, when Jack Jordan completes his sentence, whatever that turns out to be, if he goes to a Yankees game and UMA's there does he have to leave the stadium right away or does he have to locate himself in the upper-deck? If they accidentally run into each other at the supermarket and she's shopping in Aisle One does he then have to peruse the bread aisle in Aisle Twelve at the other end of the store or take his food needs elsewhere? If he goes on vacation to the Fiji Islands and through no fault of his own she's scuba diving...
ReplyDelete& a nice twist of lemon on that one soapie is the old standby "I don't discriminate, I hate everybody" and I would add Dennis Miller's contribution, he doesn't understand the whole racism thing when there's so many other reasons to hate somebody.
ReplyDeleteZ, you could be Jordan's lawyer you know.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of lawyer did this guy have? He basically said to the jury "yeah he's creepy but was it a crime?" this is strictly pro-bono stuff. I would have offered
ReplyDeletetheories,
"somebody laced my client's water with acid"
"brain tumor"
"UMA was punk'd, haha"
"a belated hazing ritual"
"Prozac and Zoloft don't mix very well"
Did you miss a calling?
ReplyDeleteYou know I think the real reason so many people believe in reincarnation is this, I've heard many a person say they would've liked to do this or that in life, be a chef, private investigator, study the jungles in Africa, whatever, and that one lifetime ain't enough to get it all in. What if you're interested in at least 5, count 'em 5, career choices, well with good karma you can get 'em all in.
ReplyDeleteThey should have the Internet in heaven, in my opinion, would really help those of us on earth if we could get these sort of questions answered.
ReplyDeleteIf I can't blog in heaven, is it really going to be paradise? I am doubting.
ReplyDeleteBut isn't that one way to define heaven Beth? the fulfillment of all our wishes and desires? there has to be golf courses up there, I mean what is Tiger Woods gonna do for the rest of Eternity? some people just get off on work, I say we accomodate 'em.
ReplyDelete"What if you're interested in at least 5, count 'em 5, career choices, well with good karma you can get 'em all in."
ReplyDeleteYeah, maybe if your flippin' Forrest Gump. LOL
I got treated once by a great doctor who used to be an architect, your interests sometimes change over time. For him to be able to tackle both subjects with such skill and determination shows a remarkable intellect if you ask me. Most schoolteachers have the whole summer off to enjoy and yet they're consistently the biggest complainers. Grandma Moses started painting around 80 for cryin' out loud. In an otherwise unremarkable, nay lousy movie, "Two Moon Junction", the drifter says at one point "I don't know where I'm going but I'm in a hurry to get there".
ReplyDelete