They say this in the kitchen alot: "If you have time to lean you have time to clean."
Saw this one in a restroom once: "If you sprinkle while you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat."
On an edgy t-shirt: "It's funny until somebody gets hurt, then it's hilarious." (hmmm...don't know about that one)
"I used up all my sick time, now I'm calling in dead."
"Don't hate, participate" (we've covered that), "people who live inside your head" (like that poor man's Kennedy neighbor we all have, he's strictly middle-class but has clout, knows some bigshots and can park on the street cleaning side w/o getting a ticket), "people who masturbate your mind" (like what Obama is doing right now with practically everybody except a few lonely bloggers)
"the great mental flush" like when you dream all night about practically everything, your mind's way of going through your mental dumpster, didn't think that job of so many years ago could still haunt your dreams huh?
"I'm not afraid of dead people, I'm afraid of live people" (very apropos in this day & age) and finally,
"It's a great life if you don't weaken."
..."it's all good" - "get in there!" (men usually say this one when they say you should go after some chick) - of course "I'm just a squirrel collecting my nuts" (when the boss gives you a hard time) - "The only thing you have to worry about is when the next comet is going to hit the Earth" (again w/the boss) - "laying down the pipe" (don't ask)...
ReplyDeleteGreat food for thought as the weekend approaches.
ReplyDeleteOne saying a friend sent once I thought was cute, "Good friends will bail you out of jail, best friends will be sitting next to you saying 'damn, that was fun'!"
(okay, not as short and pithy as your examples, Z, but I would hope we'd be in the latter category).
"A conservative is a liberal who was once mugged."
ReplyDelete"A liberal is a conservative who was once arrested" (Ted Koppel's contribution)
"bad hair day (Katie Couric)
"soccer moms" (NY Times columnist Bill Safire)
DINOS (Democrats in Name Only, z-man)
Z-man's t-shirts and bumper stickers, coming soon!
ReplyDeletecoffee mugs & ringtones
ReplyDeleteI'd buy them all!!!
ReplyDeleteWe have to get the tally count up a little first. Arianna Huffington is now routinely referred to not as a writer or even a pundit but as Huffington the blogger, YES, hers is that important.
ReplyDeleteWe can sell the t-shirts and coffee mugs at our Everything in Moderation (and that includes Sleep) Seminars.
ReplyDeleteLOL, you know when I was waiting for a computer the other day at my local library I was thumbing through this book about natural remedies for all our health problems and came to the section on poor sleep and this woman author claims that for the age group 20-50 something I think it was that we need at least 9 hours of sleep!!! Where do these people pluck these figures from anyway? then on the next page she's touting the benefits of melatonin and valerian, told you there was an agenda.
ReplyDeleteWe have an agenda, too, you know, it's called common sense.
ReplyDeleteSo what I wanna know is who exactly besides John Tesh and cats get a regular 9 hours sleep every night? & if Connie bothers him for a little 3AM session does he get mad at her and angrily turn away? You know what they say about common sense, it ain't so common.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say about common sense, it ain't so common.
ReplyDeleteYou know I actually didn't know they said that about common sense, but that seems about right.