OPRAH has announced her last show will be sometime in 2011 - "25 years feels right in my bones" (it does to me too) - and this was promulgated with the utmost gravity. The way it was announced though I thought her last episode was just two weeks away. It's apparently as important as a predicted astronomical event and one can expect a new understanding of Time itself: there was BC, AD and now AO for After-Oprah. So why can't SNL, the Simpsons and the Tonight Show with any host follow suit?
Knew a Jamaican chef once who said he couldn't put his finger on it but he just doesn't like her. "I know she's done good things with her Book Club and all but I just don't like her." Her beneficent and fruitful Womb has spawned Dr. Phil and now Dr. OZ. If she and Obama ever have sex we could have ourselves a new Creation Myth in about 2,000 years hence, the Renewal of the Earth and archaeologists will be unearthing the bones of Republicans and conservatives in the Gobi Desert.
Phil Donahue was big back in the day but not like this. He'd have on say a very sexually active grandmother and raise her hand and say "God bless you Mama!" with cheers from the audience but he kind of resembled a big channel catfish near the end foraging in the muddy river for chicken guts and doughballs the kind a good ole Southern boy night noodle or grapple with. He was a liberal who knew his time was up.
Somewhere in the cold winter nighttime sky between Orion the Hunter and the Twins lies the as yet to be discovered Oprah constellation, future beacon to navigators and seafarers alike and when she passes she will be mummified in a sarcophagus, lines will form around the Globe and Mankind will finally know Peace.
Ah-men.
This has been the best thing I've read regarding Oprah's announcement!
ReplyDeleteWhat I wonder is: is she leaving TV to go into politics? Oprah for Congress in 2012?
I guess Oprah has a lot of viewers.
ReplyDeleteBut what do I know..she is on my huge list of programs never seen...
Phil Donahue was happily walking to work one day carrying his mike on a fine sunny day when the birds became quiet and the air suddenly became very still. Up to this point he was on top of the world just going to work again to plug liberalism, he was the man when there was a weird twilight effect,
ReplyDeletehe looked up and saw the big shadow of the Oprah Eclipse coming over...
Now you're outdoing yourself, Z!
ReplyDeleteAdam Lambert is quickly rising on my list of the Most Annoying. Kissed the male keyboardist during a performance at the AMAs last night and got upset because it was edited for the West Coast feed. Said he: "There's a big double standard, female pop artists have been doing things provocative for years and the fact that I'm a male and I'll be edited and discriminated against could be a problem." Well no Adam maybe you just annoy people.
ReplyDeleteHad the weirdest day at work today which is saying something. A woman I work with had to go to the hospital recently because she had uncontrollable shaking. In the old days we called this having the heebie-jeebies. Then a guy I work with said the rotisserie chickens weren't on the invoice so they sent another guy out someplace to get some birds and when he got back the chickens did come in after all so now we have too many chickens. Lady with the willies, well it's the big jug of spring water timeline again. Seems her probs started with the gallon size of Poland Spring, just sayin' Weirdest place I ever worked at, in fact you feel weird in the middle part of the day because everything else is so weird. The blog is like an oasis for me, it's like when you can't wait to go home to see your dog.
ReplyDeleteI knew there was a good reason I don't watch award shows!
ReplyDeleteI seriously don't know how you survive your job.
At least he didn't kiss Kanye West.
ReplyDeleteFunny but didn't Adam Lambert come in 2nd and what's his name, some Chris guy come in first on Idol but WHO gets ALL the publicity now? WHO has his name up in lights? WHO gets all the top shows? It ain't the straight guy.
ReplyDeleteWell Beth the woman with the shakes ain't back yet and in any of these cases that may involve someone administering the psychedelics to fellow workers unknowingly there are those whose purpose it seems is to downplay such and go with the more traditional medical explanations so that makes the weird situation even weirder and more frustrating. They're not knowingly part of the problem or conspiracy if you will but seem utterly incapable of adding 2+2. I've had bloodwork done three times in the last two years and if it were diabetes the good doc would've told you I would think. There's something nefarious at work all the more reason for folks to walk around all day like it doesn't exist. Harp and carp on something trivial, obsess over the mundane and you have yourselves a typical workday.
ReplyDeleteKind of an open thread here so feel free, I mean how many aspects of the Queen can we consider? but read in the paper the other day that she's very interested in some sex-oriented show on cable down the road which we've kind of suspected of her all along, she's a slob. What I don't like about her BB is she's a self-important diva. Why else would you say your last show is two years away at least? I mean why announce it now and with the waterworks to boot? Beth said to me on the phone the other night she helped get Obama elected which is probably true but disturbing too. How could one person hold so much power, how can she influence the masses so much? Her Dr. OZ spawn, going the sex route as there lie the ratings. Honestly just go away, go to some Pacific island with your friend Gayle King and leave the rest of us alone.
ReplyDeleteIt goes to reason that if books she suggests become best sellers, that when she promoted Obama he, too, gained something from that. How much, we'll never know. Like if Oprah thought (as a woman) that having the first woman president was a good thing, then we might have had Pres. Clinton (Part Two).
ReplyDeleteYeah there was some controversy over her putting race ahead of gender during the primary season. Heh, Phil Donahue was asked the other day what he thinks of her retirement and he said after a while people get tired of hearing you talk.
ReplyDelete