The voters are going to vote...

...for their national security blanket, Bigger Government, like that comforter you snuggle under on a bone-chilling winter night after you've had your goblet (or two) of the good stuff. Men too which is why McCain is up there on top and Huckabee is even in the running. Don't throw me out on a cold winter night to venture out alone, that's too libertarian. I want a bubble bath that maybe you can pay for, why don't you give me a rubber too 'cause I'm too lazy to go down to Walgreen's myself speaking of which I messed up a couple months ago with my girlfriend and now she has a bun in the oven. I can't quite scrape up the $350, can you help out a guy and gal down on their luck? I want to go to the ER because I have the runs and hang around the waiting room watching a Seinfeld rerun even though somebody else just came in with a real problem but has to wait a couple hours 'cause me and my friends are here.

I don't just want my mind masturbated, I want my life masturbated as well AND you're going to foot the bill.

In the curious matter of the male fetus...

...how is this just a part of the Woman's Body if you catch my drift? just one of many many inconsistencies of the choice movement like the 24-week cutoff point many states use to proscribe later abortions, by what mysterious alchemy is the unborn child not human just 3 days before "viability"? I call this the Cinderella Paradox as in "quick, it's 11:45, abort it, the fetus turns human at midnight!" OR the common agnostic approach to abortion which is we don't know the moral and human status of the fetus but let it happen anyway. You should have to prove the fetus is not human before you can suck it into oblivion which brings up the next point. Our science in general and in particular the study of the unborn known as fetology is so far advanced (think transvaginal ultrasound) that we can no longer fall back on the agnostic position, it ain't a bovine fetus after all.

It's all just masturbation of the mind folks.

The current crop...

...of Republican presidential contenders, McCain, Romney and Huck and the lack of real influence of third parties reminds me of the playlists of radio stations today. You don't really care for it but you have no choice, the songs are bland and slightly irritating but it's what everyone is listening to so it has to be good. They keep playing it over and over, think The Fray, and so you brainwash yourself and try to get into it (McCain would be a slow waltz, think Lawrence Welk). You don't have a CD player in your car (the 3rd Party) and you realize Maroon 5 is in that other party, Fergie's over there too and as a rock-ribbed conservative you're just depressed all the time.

"Sittin' by the dock of the bay
watching all the conservatives go away,
Traveled a thousand miles from home
Just to make this third party my home."

But who would Mary Jo Kopechne have endorsed?

Teddy Kennedy backs Obama and betrays Hillary.

So when can we say we have enough laws?

The function of the Congress or any legislative body for that matter is primarily to pass laws. If they don't pump out the legislation this is, you guessed it,

a bad thing,

and so it will haunt a candidate in the next race. Legislation is all about addressing issues and showing concern for people's problems but the second question before the Board today is how many laws do we as a society actually need? Why the obsession and constant need to legislate? as well the more laws you pass the less freedoms you have, it's basic arithmetic. So when can we send our parliament of ho's home?

How the Catholic Church has changed

In the olde days, as soon as a baby was born he/she was baptized as quickly as possible, probably within a few days at most. Today there's no hurry, a recent papal theological commission has pretty much dispensed with the never official dogma of Limbo anyway and so a few months go by after the birth, various people may be asked to be the godparents and an application is finally submitted to the parish but again, there's no rush. The pastor is likely to wait until a group of people need the sacrament and do 'em all on the same day. The issue before the Board today, maybe the sacraments aren't as important as they used to be. Can we blame the usual villain, Vatican 2?

Fred Thompson - a consistent political philosopher

He may not be a pro-life purist like Judie Brown of the American Life League, always going for the touchdown, aka that Constitional Amendment, but he's not a life-choicer like Mitt Romney either. He's a federalist or a believer in states' rights. Laura Ingraham brought up the fact that he was against government intervention in the Terri Schiavo case, well he can say he was consistent in his own head anyway. I myself was more into the whole angle of Terri could swallow on her own and so the laws in all 50 states say you have to feed a person by mouth. Her feeding tube was always a side issue anyway, they could have given her saline hydration by IV and as for his misguided comments about a federal law banning abortion meaning women and possibly their Moms and Dads going to jail, this had a silver lining. It allowed pro-lifers and in particular us bloggers to clarify the issue, hey, maybe Fred knew this all along. Anyway he has my vote if he's the nominee.

Whatever happend to our beloved frontrunner?

Rudy, down there in single digits in all the primaries so far, widely considered by far the odds-on favorite hands down even months before Iowa and New Hampshire. At this point in time his only option would appear to be to pull a Joe Lieberman and run as an Independent and then return to his old party after he's won (if this is even possible).

Rudy, wha'happened?

When the Law collides with Reality

There are laws on the books in many states, or proposed legislation, to treat drivers who have gone without sleep the same as drunken drivers. Makes a certain degree of sense but then again most people commute to work in cars, are you supposed to call out sick whenever you've had a sleepless night? Insomniacs hold down jobs just like the rest of us, maybe you can get away with calling out once or twice but what do the chronics do? will your typical boss understand that you may have a medical condition and you are trying to obey the Law? will the problems of Life never cease?

stranded in civilization.

What Mike Huckabee really is ~~~

~~~is a pro-life Democrat in the Bob Casey mold.

If SEX rules your life...

...Rush said something about this once, if you're the kind of person who lets sex rule your life then you'll destroy yourself in the end (something like this anyway, I don't remember his exact words but he put it rather dramatically). So this guy at work, he gets called to a union meeting because a young woman accused him of sex-chal harassment. Now this guy's a real playa or fancies himself to be but I also know this guy's style, he chats up any eye candy in sight but I think he stops short of the complete grossout, this woman has a history of making these type claims (good luck finding a boyfriend honey) but there's a lesson here -

when you're a playa you'll get by with most women but you're heading into some rough waters in this post-Anita Hill, post Anucha Brown Sanders age, the perils of a man whose mind is always on SEX, you think about it, you dream about it, you pursue it constantly, you want more notches on your belt. It's like Phil Donahue ALWAYS talked about IT on his show and you know something, his face started to resemble the male organ itself towards the end and have you seen Clinton's nose lately? Am I making sense here?

I was thinking...

...you'd think by now abortion would peter out and become more or less a thing of the Past, we have about a 100 methods of birth control now and even if you're for abortion there's always the annoyance and inconvenience of having to make an appointment and going through with it (myself? I hate having to get haircuts and oil changes, can you take my car in for me please?) and geez, you could've really used that $300 for something else not to mention the off-chance that your God just might be against it in the End.

Some people thrive on chaos.

The wisdom of celebrities

From today's Page Six Magazine, actress Eva Amurri (whom I never heard of btw) gives us this pearl of wisdom:

On her parents Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins:

"Both of my parents have been arrested. Not many people can say that."