Guy and I were talking at work today, rapped about this and rapped about that and then he told me the story of this woman who worked in a supermarket chain who slept, strike that, sucked her way to the top, well not quite the top but let me continue. She blew all her managers and co-managers and wound up with the top prize of Front-End Manager. In the olde days you had women who were willing to sleep with their bosses to get what they wanted of course but here's the key, in them days intercourse sufficed, 'twas more than enough but in these modern times the price of admission just went up:
You have to give head,
I mean it's Mandatory, we're no longer talking satin sheets, Johnny Mathis and just that thinnest veneer of social respectability just guzzle it down like a milk shake you fucking slut so she played the skin flute of about, oh I don't know pick a number out of a hat, 5 co-managers and 2 or 3 managers (were these separate deals or did they simply form a circle holding hands singing Kumbaya?) and everyone knew it too. She'd sip her coffee in the morning proud as a peacock and strut around all day giving orders like she was the manager of the store or something but she's older now and settled as they say. BTW sounds like the guys got the better end of THAT deal
but that was back in the day,
and you did crazy things, that's just the way things were
back in the day. You might be older now, have a nice husband and kids, a Jack Russell Terrier and a nice office job and checking account and keep respectable company and play SpongeBob for the kids in your minivan on the way home after grocery shopping
but that was back in the day. Maybe Gary hung upside down with a corn cob up his ass in a weird masturbation experiment and somehow cut off his oxygen supply and had a stroke and had to be rehabilitated at some nursing home at the prime age of 34. You can all laugh about it now,
that was back in the day.
"Back in the day I was a freak."
Reminds me of that movie "Clerks".
ReplyDeleteDante: My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
Customer with diapers: In a row???
I didn't see that one. Thanx buddy, next time I go to the Palisades Mall...
ReplyDelete...oh wait, Silent Bob. I did see it.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm not mistaken, Clerks was the one that started it all. A classic if you ask me. Just goes to show you don't need some crazy ass budget to make a decent movie.
ReplyDeleteCheck out American Movie then if you're looking for something. It's a documentary that's both funny and sorta sad in a way.
Will do just that.
ReplyDeleteIntercourse shmintercourse, now if anything it's quicker now the old Slurpee:
"meet me behind the frozen truck around 9 next Saturday nite"
Of course Dr. Laura has had her own back-in-the-day moments now she tells the rest of us how to live. Back in the day Rush popped those little blue babies behind Denny's, Glenn Beck hit the bottle...trouble with Mel Gibson is he still can't call his life back in the day yet (hey Mel "back in the day" is meant to show how you've grown as a human being, that older and wiser thing). Funny no matter how much we pontificate if we all had to write our own little essay simply called "Back in the Day" we'd be more than a little embarassed, might humble us. Back in the day I blogged about shit I wouldn't blog about today, back in the day I voted for Bob F**k*n Dole...
ReplyDeleteSo what did YOU do Back in the Day???
"So what did YOU do Back in the Day???"
ReplyDeleteHow far back we talkin?
The Day You Were Born Buddy (just kiddin')
ReplyDeleteYou were honest enough to talk about the acid, things like that. My brother and I were talkin' a few weeks back, every time the priest at church gets up and gives his 20+ minute homily about morality and religion and spirituality and my bro goes probably a few years back he watched a porno with Jenna Jameson, let's say a high-end production and not your cheap gas-station 'ho crap and he can't seem to get it out of his head. So he's up there giving his zealous little sermonette, getting out in the middle of the congregation and rappin' and it's like Jenna's finger is tapping him on the shoulder, it's naggin' at him.
You know whatever.
Well I'm getting the sense that this is a rather notorious blog sticking out like a sore thumb (while everyone else is madly blogging about National Security we get a Z-man Blog on Oral Sex). Well no I simply chronicle human behavior, the stupidity, the folly, the excess, the idiocy it's all endlessly fascinating. Human behavior simply is (I can't use the term "asshattery" because that's trademarked as you know), just behave better is all and I'll have less to blog about. AND yeah I'd blog about this again even though it ain't as important as Obama's Hawaiian vacation and how as the New York Post stupidly said today on its cover he finally connected the dots. In the olde days intercourse was the thing, now it's head. I'm sorry if I find this funny but if I ever do a Best of Stranded again it's going up there.
ReplyDeleteI guess rather than finding it funny I find it rather sad that anyone would have to use sex to get a better job. You could tell yourself maybe she has young kids to feed at home, but I stil don't know how people who sell themselves can live with themselves (politicians are included when they sell out, too).
ReplyDeleteIt IS sad and am actually surprised it still happens in this day and age. What gets me is it's no longer the sex at least the way sex used to be defined but I guess Slick Willy changed all that so now they could probably all go home at night to their wives or girlfriends and still claim their fidelity.
ReplyDeleteYup, Bill's legacy for ya.
ReplyDeleteI really think he's influenced this country for the worse in little ways. I remember we were seriously having this discussion at work once and the subject was if a girl only gives out the Lewinskys and nothing else can she still claim her virginity? I said no but everyone else said yes and with a straight face so I call this the Bubba Legacy. The way people think, never ceases to amaze.
ReplyDeleteI did have another thought about the original posting here and that is that when people do the oral thing, it really is less personal, you know, not face to face, so doing it for non personal reasons I guess sorta makes sense.
ReplyDelete...anyone else wanna chime in here?
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like there's some practical reasons involved as well, who needs a conception to take place when you're trying to climb that corporate ladder? It's quick, it's simple and it's the act du jour. Something tells me Hillary wasn't a fan.
ReplyDelete