Adam Lambert & Clay Aiken

USUALLY and I'm just sayin' when someone disses the other like Clay did recently and the other responded in kind it really means they have a secret crush on each other. Sounds like they like each other, do I see a teabag in their future?

David Carradine - Even if I were bored out of my skull which is most Sunday nights I wouldn't auto-erotically-asphyxiate myself. I'd sooner read the tube of Crest or bang the crumbs out of the toaster. BB take it away.

Any subjects not covered so far? I can't think of any.

Saw bits and pieces of the Farrah Fawcett special

very mixed reviews. Controversial, macabre, morbid were just some of the adjectives used. Will say this though, here is the rare celeb who never really bothered me, never saw her on some political soapbox and no matter who it is, unless it's Osama bin Laden or Fidel Castro I always throw a prayer or two their way. Started a thread once over at Big Blue Wave, a Canadian forum for conservatives and I may have outHoused House on that one:

http://bluewave.yuku.com/topic/1752/t/The-cancer-cell-is-not-powerful-but-weak-amp-confused.html

bit and pieces I gleaned from a Dummy's Guide to Cancer once, hope it's interesting. So there was Farrah clutching her rosary beads, probably made our old friend Hitch wince but I missed the vomiting, I'm a real channel-surfer you know. So let's say we "reform" health-care however you define that term, of what good is that if there's no Cure yet? The limitations of modern medicine imo far outweigh its advances, are any cures for any of the major big ones even on the horizon? Anyway what are your thoughts on the Farrah Fawcett special?

What is the next big news story?

I was thinking of a transformative and positive event that transcends politics, that when everybody went in to work the next day they'd be a little less consumed by the daily grind and go "how about that?" An end to abortion? doubt it, there's seems to be a kink in our culture right now, seems we have to have a little Hoover action from time to time, we could have a thousand methods of birth control tomorrow, wouldn't matter, I don't get it. The cure for cancer? 'twould be nice, we're about due as I keep saying but somehow it never seems to come. World peace? in what lifetime? The capture of OBL? Bush should've wrapped this up and no Mark Levin Fan, this is not some liberal talking point. Abolishing the IRS? that's self-evident but the continued existence of the IRS is why we only have two major political parties and they both remain in power. Madonna becomes a nun? she's back to swinging from the trees again.

Obama as the nation's first African-American president? Many, even a majority might go with this as being the transformative and positive event I'm talking about. Even many conservatives would go along with this, I call this the Peggy Noonan School of Thought, no matter he's a liberal who's sinking our country deeper into debt the important thing is that it happened, mull this over with your brandy at night and get that happy feeling, that mentally orgasmic reverie but for me and Beth and soapie it doesn't satisfy, it's formula food and doesn't fulfill, it doesn't sit in your gut and give you that contented feeling. As a blogger I need to sink my teeth into something. Porkulus, an important but dry subject and I can't blog about Obama for the next four years, it's too depressing and you get that feeling of putting your heart and soul into a blog but where's the influence? where's that Jon Stewart pull? that "did you hear what Z-man just said?" It has to get worse before it gets better as they say. Beth taking a sabbatical from her blogging and yes it is a sabbatical is perfectly understandable, if Nancy Pelosi doesn't follow her own Pope what does that make us?

The culture's in a rut these days. Movies suck although some people feel they still have to go. Pop music, it ain't exactly the '80s and even a recent "House" had an episode about a guy who grows pot in his apartment and got sick from some rat piss, at least FRINGE knows to take a break every once in a while. You'd be surprised at the number of 40-something men seriously browsing through comic book stores, porn is so yesterday. There's no talent out there, people don't know how to make the workplace jazzy and interesting anymore, we're all into our 9-5 little gulags. Come on guys, give us the Big Story!!

Which is most likely to be true?

spontaneous human combustion, haunted houses, UFOs, Elvis is still around, Sasquatch, Loch Ness, Oswald was a patsy, the Bermuda Triangle OR the VRWC really exists?

I'm sorry those are your options and you have to choose one. It's my hunch that BB is going with (none of the above) but I've discussed this with people and my personal favorite is Nessie.

My impression of Idol this season

First off it's a weird one and I'm not even talking about the contestants. The judges are acting goofy but it's an annoying goofy, like somebody at work who insists he's funny until someone smacks him inside the head. People can be functionally insane and still report to work in the morning (NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg) but the other thing is the calibration of the judging seems to be way way off especially Simon's. A bunch of chicks'll get up to sing, maybe not bad voices but something's off, maybe the timbre of their voices or their presence and they all go YES YES YES with nary a word of constructive criticism offered their way but then some guy with a great voice'll come on and maybe Randy will say NO and Simon will come up with something out of left field. It's not just me, I've heard others say this when discussing last night's Idol and for most of the show's existence I could find myself agreeing with Simon even if his sarcasm was over the top or uncalled for. I probably won't be watching most of it this time, the panelists have made it way too laborious and how successful are the ones who win in the end anyway? A for instance, after some singer auditioned Kara offered her critique and said something like "that's giving you a real solid." Like trying to be hip and coin her own expressions but what the hell's a solid? Maybe the FRINGE team needs to investigate.

travelblogging, my landmark is the trump building

Had the day off yesterday and we went to the Yonkers Raceway Diner, had the Irish Breakfast and he had the Country-Style. You always have to have a cup of joe in a diner, it's mandatory and so I suggest we go to the newly renovated Greenburgh Public Library which just reopened yesterday. We work our way there, it's a meandering roadtrip as always 'cause that's how we like to do it and we pass the porno guy. He's a little shop on a busy, heavily traveled commercial thoroughfare and my friend goes "what's up with the main entrance? People go to this place, people they know can see them going in. It should have a back entrance or something, you have to go to the back of the hardware store first and then go through the sewer system." "Yeah, he can meet you midway in the ventilation duct." On the way to the fresh SuperLibrary, you can feel the pull of the magnetic structure at this point and I have a slight problem with our celebrity culture and media overexposure: "Jennifer Aniston does nothing for my life, how does it help?" We go inside the library, it's modern and hip architecture all the way, a corporate look, more spatial dimensions than anything else and it's so damn quiet. I know libraries are supposed to be this way but it's more than a tad eerie. You get that very strong futuristic sense "like some android or cyborg in a white lab coat asks if he can help you" - "I'm not John Connor." Great computer lab here though, a guy can blog his heart away. The main goal of our trip now over he says let's go over to the White Plains Mall. It's easy to go to from here, just follow the Landmark. I'm not too thrilled with this place, it's rundown and doesn't even have a FYE store but he tells the story of it's one of the original malls in the country. I think it's gangster but we go anyway. The comic and graphic books store is closed though on Tuesdays, must be the dork's high holy day or something so we hit the Japanese supermarket instead. Great seafood area, a big squid on ice with its eye looking at you, 10+ lb. bluefish, red snappers, Chilean Sea Bass, blue-claw crabs. Not too keen on the butcher section though, there's some cow tongue on display, some stomachs but I'm told it's a cultural thing, the Japanese use every part of the animal, it's their way of honoring it. That's nice but I think I'll pass on the chicken feet. We were barely in the mall for half an hour, maybe a little more and the municipal parking cost us 3 dollars!! (thuganomics). Now we're right up close to the new Trump Building in White Plains, a monstrosity, a beacon, a landmark, a tribute to EGO and my friend says he can see it all the way from the Palisades Parkway in Jersey. No matter where I drive I can see it for literally miles, it could even pass for a navigational marker for extraterrestrials. We drive past the wholesale flower place we used to work at, it's a nostalgic thing but it's now an electrical supply company, nothing lasts anymore it seems, New World Order stuff. We head on home, we could get a porno air freshener but we pass. It was a good day and you kick back and you smoke your Gispert that you bought the other day at Mom's Cigars and you ponder it. The stars are out now as it's unnaturally pitch black at 5 in the evening. Goat testicles?

These chicks have issues

"I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."
(Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood)

"And don't tell me you're sorry when you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught."
(Take A Bow - Rihanna) ~~~btw I always thought this would be a great line a state trooper could use when he pulls you over, he could even sing it~~~

"I learned the hard way
That they all say
Things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks
deep down under you and
Your twisted words your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry."
(Love Song - Sara Bareilles)

I detect a theme here. They really should make this into the Men Suck World Concert Tour of 2008 so I say let the chicks vent. I have to say though I like the Bareilles song, for starters the singer has a very clear voice and you can make out every word without googling lyrics, something I have to do with Fergie and others from time to time. Take it away.

I'd sooner read a tube of toothpaste

than read Barbara Walters' new book Audition which, during one interview on a radio station here, she said would make a wonderful Mother's Day gift. Every book has to have a hook to sell and hers is her Affair. I was never into Barbara Walters, she once famously asked Katherine Hepburn "if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?" (oh I don't know, a weeping willow?) Never much was into celebrity worship anyway, hated those pre-Oscar specials where she'd chat up three big-time celebrities. I myself, if I met a celebrity today could care less to ask for their autograph, don't care if I have a mini-Mead memopad on me, that's for shopping lists and such. They all be so interesting during the Big Interview but I believe Don Rickles once said it best when he said of the famous they all go on the throne like us regular folk or words to that effect & don't bother those bigger bombshells, they of the golden, um, womb, 1/2 of 'em are already reserved for horndog crooner John Mayer anyway and kudos-cubed for ex-View co-host Star Jones' recent commentary on l'affaire Babs, it was refreshing. Now if she were to put the rest of her thoughts in print I'd be the first on line at Barnes&Noble.

Alot of African news going on

Don't know if you 've heard, it was the smallest squib in the NY Post somewhere in the middle yesterday, but the other day a U.S. Navy ship in the Indian Ocean launched some cruise missiles deep into Somalia killing the al-Qaeda leader there, the notorious 30-old Aden Hashi Ayro. Also killed were Ayro's brother and ten of his top lieutenants. Then there's Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe and his refusal to step down graciously after losing an important election to the leader of the opposition party, Morgan Tsvangirai, head of the Movement for Democratic Change. Mugabe of the ZANU-PF party says it was 47.9% to 43.2% in which close case there's supposed to be some kind of run-off or something but Tsvangirai says he won by 50.3% and therefore things were rigged. Elsewhere there's a critical food shortage in Malawi, the main meal everyday from aide workers consists basically of your porridge, no Mickie D's or pizza joints over there. As a sidenote someone once gave me a small bag of Malawi gin, not bad.

It's not all about Paula, Miley, Britney, UMA, Lindsay or Jeremiah. There be another world out there and I'm glad to see the Bush Administration not so exclusively focused on Iraq anymore, there are many al-Qaeda cells in Africa, there have been embassies bombed there but it's all about "The Insider" these days and who crooner John Mayer is bedding or Patrick Dempsey being named by "People" magazine as sexiest man alive. So kudos to the Newshour with Jim Lehrer for their heavy focus on African issues recently, too bad even they were forced to cover Eliot Spite-zer's sex life not that long ago but they were forced to since he was a sitting governor, it's not like they had a panel discussion on Paula's Idol confusion (no, not one of us ever woke up not knowing what day it was or forgot somebody's name at work). Tabloid journalism, it's like when you were young and your Mom said to eat an orange when there's a box of Devil Dogs on top of the breadbox.

Daughtry has a nice sound

Went up the line yesterday way up in the sticks, packed a few miles on the car, kinda my version of a retreat aka a daytrip, had the station tuned and on came a few hits by Daughtry, just one of many stars flung off that fiery pinwheel known as "American Idol." Has a nice sound to it like he was born to do what he's doing, has a heavy touch of angst to his lyrics not in a depressing way but haunting just the same, hard to put into a genre (philosophical rock?) but perfect for a long trip. I'm going with Michael Johns on this season, caught him midthrough but saw enough to know he should win hands down. So far through these many seasons though nobody has that unique trademark sound like a Daughtry, he's like Steve Perry of Journey, other singers may be great but they don't have that extra hard-to-put-down-in-words quality, count me a fan.

Jay-Z and Beyonce are getting hitched!!!

& they might even live in Scarsdale, NY! Actually I don't find this particularly interesting, on second thought I don't find it interesting at all. It's like when I'm watching some of those evening entertainment shows and there's George Clooney being interviewed about this movie or that girlfriend I find myself being vaguely irritated, it's not so much George Clooney even though of course he's a big-time lib, I just never got this whole celebrity worship thing. I might admire somebody's craft and want to know a little about his or her life but that's about it. We have a war going on amongst other things, I'm sorry, I don't get it.

The Camille Paglia theory of Britney's meltdown

Dr. Phil says it may be a wise thing to have her involuntarily committed, she may even pose a suicide risk the theory being that Owen Wilson, look how normal and happy-go-lucky he was and what he did so what would a kooky person do? I'd love to have Britney's life though, I mean the good aspects, you're being creative and artistic and don't have to put in your 9-5 like most of us paeons. Even if she never put out another CD and called it quits on her touring she has enough of the dinars to live happily ever after so

wha'sa problem?

I gotta go along with feminist writer Camille Paglia though. In any good investigation you can create a timeline and a linear clue quickly emerges, her life began to, ever so slightly, spiral out of control the day she and Madonna liplocked at the Video Music Awards on MTV, Paglia calls it her kiss of death. So maybe it's not so much what Dr. Phil says or the Brooke Shields theory of post-partum depression (is this responsible for the situation in the Middle East too Brooke?) but it may have everything to do with her moral compass. You look at that other problem child Lindsay and you feel her hopes are better, she at least seems very aware she has a problem and is actually more likeable than Brit who recently served her own Mom with a court order to stay away from her own grandkids while she's on her meds and don't blame it all on the paparazzi either, these people want fame but they don't want it but they still want their picture in the paper.

I personally don't believe Britney deserves all this coverage, a one-year blackout on all things Britney might be a good thing. Last I checked we had a War on Terror going on.....

Broward County ME Joshua Perper's Sylvia Browne moment

Though she died of a drug cocktail of no less than nine (!) different prescription drugs including chloral hydrate and methadone the coroner assures us that foul play was not involved in the tragic Anna Nicole Smith case, not only that it wasn't even suicide which end a reasonable person might draw. Seminole tribal Police Chief Charlie Tiger seconds the motion and says no cause for concern here (would twenty prescription drugs in a person's system be the barest minimum for concern?). In the wake of the controversial Schiavo case it is now the politically correct thing to do to go out of our way not to demonize people even if this means we should ask far more questions than we do or even that justice has to take a back seat to sensitivities. To this day we don't really know with any metaphysical certitude what caused Terri to collapse on that fateful morning of Feb. 25, 1990 and likewise we cannot state with any metaphysical certitude, as Broward County ME Joshua Perper has done, that Anna Nicole's death at such a young age was purely an accident. Is our legal and justice system no longer intellectually curious anymore? Is enabling a person's drug dependency no longer a crime? Is it just easier these days to let the dead rest with their secrets? WHY must I rely on sources like the National Enquirer for really vital new information in the case?

What of Howard K. Stern?

When you're right you're right

Score one for the Rosie

She is right on in her remarks about "American Idol" and in particular Simon Cowell and his cruelty. This is where the culture is at right now and truth be told the Donald is a dick too, holding his "Apprentice" party at Hef's Playboy Mansion. You can't blame Melania for having a clause about affairs in their prenup, he's a god in his own head who can't take the slightest criticism. I liked Dr. Phil's thoughts on Idol, these are people who only want their 15 minutes of fame, go easy already!

So Liz Smith thinks the hit show "24" is too right-wing for her and wonders what Kiefer Sutherland's father, Donald, thinks of it all. In the season premiere the Counter Terrorist Unit of LA, CTU, negotiated with terror mastermind Fayed to give them the head of their star agent, Jack Bauer, on a plate in order to prevent future attacks on American soil. This is a right-wing position Liz? Bush wouldn't even compromise with Zarqawi to save Nick Berg's head. Ah, the perils of judging something you haven't even seen, something the libs are constantly chastising us not to do.

Great show "20/20" did last night on credit-card companies and how they love people to go into debt they can't get out of, that's how they make their millions. The show makes you angry at all those country club Republicans who were so key in passing bankrupty "reform" at the behest of these usurious credit-card companies who began whining about families being unable to meet their debt obligations. Loansharks and Republicans, perfect together. This is why the Repubs will continue to lose election after election, they no longer speak for the Common Man like they used to. People who masturbate your mind

The Rosie O'Donald Feud

Rosie has a tendency to dwell on rather unimportant items in the news. She went on and on about Clay Aiken's hand covering Kelly Ripa's mouth and now, as we all know, she doesn't like the fact that the Donald gave Tara Conner, MissUSA, a second chance. One of the founding priniciples of political correctness is never forgive once somebody messes up or says or does something offensive and so I guess it is radical in this day and age to be given that second chance. I think the Donald likes the classical submissive woman, the European beauty who is feminine and subtly sexual, and Rosie represents the polar opposite, the brash and obnoxious tomgirl who kicked you in the nuts in the 4th grade. Melania is Hellenic in her beauty and Rosie looks like she works on the wharf hauling the mackerel in.

Just my .02 People who masturbate your mind

Celeb worship

E.T. and Access Hollywood, they're more or less the same thing, celebrity suck-up shows that would do Jenna Jameson proud. All that BLING BLING, it's disgusting and obscene stuff when you consider all the masses in the world starving but that's just it, Hollywood stars feel so guilty about all their incredible wealth that they reflexively vote and preach Democratic Party values so as to balm their consciences, at least this is Rush's view and I agree. And the shows are so loud as if to GRAB your attention. I'm sorry but the only Hollywood celebrities I like these days are Danny Aiello and Fred MacMurray and he's dead. And I'm sick of seeing those two blockheads, Matt Damon and Leo DiCaprio, in the same movies, like in The Departed, it gets damn near confusing. Monsterism.People who masturbate your mind

Fitty cents will get you a cup of coffee

"Do you have fitty cents? I wanna get a cup of coffee." The other day in Queens, NY rapper "Fifty Cent" was driving a new Lamborghini when cops pulled him over and arrested him for not having either a driver's license or insurance and registration. Many in the crowd of black onlookers sided with Fitty over the cops and said things like "stay strong Fitty." Maybe they wanted to give Bill Cosby something to talk about in his next speech but this anti-cop mentality is a bane in the black community. Let's see, what did Fitty do wrong? You have a car that costs as much as a house and you don't even have the proper paperwork, I dunno know what the problem is. Every now and then the rappers have to do something to maintain their thug image, like DMX the other day putting down Jay-Z for wearing sandals, said it's a sissy thing for a man to do (I kinda hate sandals on men myself, the men always have ugly feet sometimes with yellow gnarled toenails). Continued DMX, "he's only doing it 'cos he's in love and follows everything Beyonce tells him to" (honestly I'd have to admit I'd follow most of her directives myself). Sounds like a rap feud brewing which happens when the gangsta front has been too peaceful of late (how come you never hear of Gwen Stefani taking a shot at Mariah Carey or Celine Dion involved in a drive-by?) Seems like most rappers don't want to go the Diddy route of social respectability, hell Jadakiss is still hustling. Other than that there's really not a whole lot Cos can talk about.

What's with the Donald of late? He seems to have become a caricature of himself ("Martha's show was an abysmal failure while my 'Apprentice' has been a tremendous success.") MAD TV doesn't even have to have a scriptwriter for this, the Donald provides all the best lines himself.

I'm not voting in the midterms. Republicans and Democrats are more or less the same beast and both support leviathan government that intrudes upon our personal lives. When was the last time you heard a prominent Republican call for not more laws but less? I'm conservative/libertarian at heart and there's really no one out there for me.

I've learned alot from the Mel Gibson saga. Not only in the future am I not going to apologize for things done in the past but I'm also going to refuse others' apologies to me as well. Oh what a wonderful world it will be.On the Right