The mouth is the best form of birth control

(get your mind out of the gutter) Within the past few years I've worked with 2 or 3 women, they're not unattractive by any stretch, and I thought to myself why can't I fantasize about them? It all reminds me of that old Henny Youngman quip, "I know you have to be somebody but why do you have to be you?" There are too many nice looking women with bad personalities out there, you're like how the hell did you come to be you? I am now convinced it all has to be part of the Master Plan, the Divine Cosmology, to give less comely women a fighting chance.

Bad sex leads to bad choices, this is my working theory to account for our high abortion rates. It's like when you have too much Scotch on a hot summer evening and then have weird dreams all night and then wake up in the morning all out of sorts or, if you're a man, you break down and rent a porno made by some retard, which pretty much describes over 90% of porn anyway, and so now you're angry at the producer, more angry at the video store manager who buys anything, and most of all you're angry at yourself,

where is the judgement?

For me good sex should not lead to the destruction of a fetus. I cannot separate the two, they are inextricably linked, the idea of potential feticide would just kill the mood for me and I've heard many other men from all shades of the political spectrum on the issue say the same thing. It's just not

sexy

now write an article about THAT Cosmo!

The Dark Cave of the Past - 1961 was a very bad year

From the New York Post TV Week for 6/12-23, Prime Time Adam Buckman, "TV jukebox pumps up summer shows":

"...'Mad Men' is the best new show of the summer. This series depicts the world of Madison Avenue advertising in 1961...For 'Mad Men', which premieres July 19, they have recreated the chauvinistic (emphasis mine) world of mid-town Manhattan at the dawn of the 1960s. People smoke all over the place - at their desks, in restaurants, even in elevators. Electric typewriters and push-button phones are considered the latest in 'new technology.' Everybody drinks, even during the day, and the men shamelessly harass their female co-workers, none of whom are co-equals."

So there you have it, the pc view of the Past as unmitigated Evil (the only thing missing from Buckman's commentary is back-alley abortions). This is the way men behaved when left to their own devices in those days without our current progressive legislation, new laws always being a necessity of course. Men of the Past being gentlemen was all a big hoax after all like Loch Ness. Puritanism is definitely the way to go, I mean smoking and drinking and flirtation in the office?? Call Mayor Bloomberg!! You can't come up with anything good about the Past you pc'ers? like, oh I don't know, intact families and low crime rates?

and why is the New York Post, widely considered the only truly conservative paper around these days, throwing around liberal buzzwords like homophobic (if homophobic means analphobic I plead guilty, got a problem with that)? And what's up with the word "preggers" now peppering Page Six, I mean that is sooooo gay. Just the other day some gay guy was reading about the latest celeb being preggers and said "that's way too gay for me."

Today's blog

Sometimes I wish I were a recluse with money.

People who don't go to the doctors all the time only when they really really really have to have quietly accepted their mortality and come to terms. It is the secular humanists who have to protect their health at all costs, after all after this life what is there? There was once a book called The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker which had as its working thesis that practically everything we do in our culture is a denial of this very brute fact of our existence. People who die young because of bad habits like smoking and heavy drinking, is this tragic or merely unfortunate? Depends on how you view eternity I guess.

Mental disorders, are they always bad? Yes, judging by all those corny health textbooks we had to read in high school but I submit a person with OCD is a better and more efficient worker and if he runs any kind of food establishment and the health inspector is due the next day the chances are very high his business will pass. I know a chef who admits he's been hyper with ADHD ever since he was a kid and he says it helps him in the kitchen. Mental aberrations, make them work for you (caveat - though not in the Pugach sense!).

The National Review, every time some left-leaning literary figure dies they always seem to underrate his work (or is this just my overly active imagination?). Happened with the late playwright Arthur Miller of Death of a Salesman fame, he was no better than a high-school playwright at best according to an NR contributor, and now with the passing of novelist Kurt Vonnegut. I guess according to NR you can't be a great writer if you lean too far to the left so what are we to have, only right-wing lit? Don't bash greed, better to write about nothing, certainly not your own passionate convictions.

Young male Spanish deli managers - they're on top of you, they're behind you, they're humping you, you're taking a dump and they're paging you. Is this how they are in bed?

RE Today's Blog, to quote Dennis Miller, "of course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong" (it's a blog after all).

Memorial Day

OK, pet peeve time.

Put the memorial back into Memorial Day. Stores like Macy's started this a long time ago with their Memorial Day sales events and then we started celebrating the day not where it fell on the calendar but stuck it on a Monday so as our spoiled culture could enjoy long weekends and then crowd the beaches like a bunch of sardines and not even swim in the water because it's still too cold. In a word, fun.

They did this with Washington and Lincoln, attached it to Saturday and Sunday and then just whitewashed the whole thing by calling it President's Day. Um, excuse me but we shouldn't honor all presidents like this, most of all Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. It's like they wanna break everything down from its original meaning. Kind of like a, ahem.....

conspiracy

(calling Robodoon)

Who will be the next poor mofo sent up sh*t's creek without a paddle?

Mel Gibson
Michael Richards
Isaiah Washington (almost up the creek if he does the right thing, if you know what I mean)
Don Imus

we're due

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is safe, and that includes our beloved Bob Newhart (careful Bob).

The man was definitely controversial, no question about that

The Rev. Jerry Falwell, 1933-2007, RIP

If you're controversial this simply means that not everyone agrees with you so in this sense all of us are controversial to a degree. The late Rev. Jerry Falwell of the Moral Majority made it his business to add his very passionate voice regarding issues of life and death, porn and gay "rights", so it's only logical that many many people would take issue with this just the same way that a person who advocates for the things he was against is also by definition controversial since many people will disagree with him but, for the msm, it's as if controversy only cuts one way. A conservative is always controversial but a liberal never is. Got it now? libs are by nature non-ideological peacemakers and conservatives are polarizing figures. Now I never agreed with everything Falwell stood for, I think boycotts of tv shows smack of censorship and draw needless attention to otherwise worthless products, but he never did anything outside the law here, boycotts are our constitutional right as the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are always calling for them when it suits their own political liberal agendas.

Just my .02 on the Rev. Falwell's passing.

Is it all just a case of bad karma?

See, this is why I could never be an atheist/secular humanist, is THIS all there is? This is definitely not IT. Secular humanism promises a paradise on earth so unless you feel that grabbing your lunchpail at 5:30 in the morning and catching the bus to work is what IT's all about you're missing the BIGGER PICTURE. This ain't IT and all the major world faith systems understand this.

Someday someone will explain it all to us. Some guy'll be in the mall and some strange and enigmatic figure will approach him and they'll sit at a table in the food court and talk. "Do you know why your job sucks and you can't get a woman?" The poor slob is all ears now as for years he's been searching for a workable theory to explain it all. "It's because in a former life you were (a) Ghengis Khan, (b)Attila the Hun, or (c)a lowly guard at Auschwitz." You feel better now and go off to the cineplex to catch "Spider-Man 3" or some other escapist flick. It's at least more tolerable now to know that you're in the flip-side to The Secret and in your next life you'll be getting that poolside massage by that Asian whore...sorry, Asian beauty, never mind, it's hard to think in a pc world but you get the point.

However, if, on the other hand, you wake up in the morning and go to the bathroom and have a clean break you just know it's going to be a good day.

Conservatives are now fully Sarkazmic

Nicknamed "Sarko" by the Right, Nicolas Sarkozy won the French presidential election Sunday night over socialist Segolene Royal. In today's New York Post Ralph Peters writes: "Nicolas Sarkozy, the president the people defiantly chose, is the most inspiring French leader since Charles de Gaulle's fall from power 40 years ago." Um Ralph, inspiring French leader? I thought he was still president-elect but no matter, the Right has a full-blown case of Sarkastic Priapism (you know, it won't go down in 4 hours so see a doctor). Peters then quotes Sarko and this chestnut: "It is hard to exaggerate the damage done to France by the 35-hour work week. How can anyone think that you're going to create wealth and jobs by working less?" Almost echoing this verbatim the Post editorial itself (May 8) says: "He (Sarko) says, rightly, that France's 35-hour work week has devastated the economy - producing a nation of slouchers" (emphasis mine). So, if you decide to work 9-4:30 everyday, that's seven hours of work minus, say, a half hour for lunch, for five days out of seven, you're a sloucher ruining your nation's economy. You see Beth, it's not just conspiratorial thinking on my part, Republicans really do get off on work and invalidate those, like their more religious-minded conservative brethren, who rightly point out that overwork is now the leading cause of divorce in the U.S. The materialistic secular conservatives, whom Bill O'Reilly never mentions, now rule the party and the more social conservatives are the only members of their own party that take that Darn Book too seriously, that work is a punishment from God for the original defiance of Adam, and you're not supposed to enjoy it that much, it's a little weird and not normal.

Beth, the more I listen to the Right these days the less I like the Right. I'm moving out of the Macabre House on the Right, maybe become a political recluse who never votes. Where do I belong?

Everybody jumps the shark sooner or later

It's the natural progression of things as in

"24" - it's always the same, Jack in a bind, Jack working outside the playbook, "your first priority is to arrest Jack and bring him back to CTU", the Big Dilemma - "Jack, this is Chloe, the president's head is going to explode and you have exactly 30 seconds before it does Jack" all the while he's on top of some train about to go through a dark tunnel, an archvillain who somehow escapes the tightest security at CTU, but this season's there's a twist, Jack's bro and Dad turned out to be evil working behind the scenes with the terrorists, Jack even tortured his own sibling and Pops murdered him with an IV injection 'cos he felt he was gonna spill the beans. Even the two executive producers now confess this season sucks.

Bill O'Reilly - insinuated in not so subtle terms that Rosie should be fired from "The View" instead of taking the earthy view that free speech sometimes comes with a small price tag and so move on.

Rosie - can't seem to settle down at any one gig. Maybe add ADHD to her depressive state as gets bored easily and can't stick with one job. Not the best judgement either, leaves "The View" shortly after her famous feud with Trump and so gives the illusion of his omnipotence. After her announcement he went home and Melania caught him grinding into the bed.

WCBS News in NY - last night had on "5 Sex Tips to Save Your Sex Life", it must be hard on the anchorperson who thinks he/she may have landed a serious journalistic job and then is forced to make cutsie-poo jokes after the report airs, "harharhar, get that Barry White music out." 5 Sex Tips you can read about in any Cosmo, #4 will give him a heart attack.

Any Matrix sequels

Sean Hannity - there are other subjects besides the war, take suggestions and stop acting like anyone who disagrees with you is evil.

...to be continued...

The average person is clueless, put it that way

I've had people say to me over the years I'm very smart, intelligent. You get this at work sometimes, ooh he's a really bright boy but I am convinced that most of us use only about 10% of our minds as they say. I would say that on my brightest days I rise to the mid-level on the intelligence scale but maybe I come across as a genius, an intellectual supernova because the rest of the people I come across are so dumb. I know this can be seen as a hubristic blog but I don't know how else to put it. I'm no George Will but people continually put me on some kind of pedestal. It's like the person at work who asks you a simple question, "how do you spell cat?" - well, kat of course. Maybe it's all the mind-numbing porn out there. On its May 1st broadcast the "CBS Evening News with Katie Couric" had a segment on all the millions of men out there who are addicted to Internet porn. Now the real problem for me is not that there are millions of men out there surfing Web porn but that they have no aesthetic standards at all to judge the stuff, they are addicted to the mindless. At least an obsessed devotee of Marilyn Monroe has a loftier ideal in place, him I can talk and relate to.

Lucifer playing chess with a bunch of idiots, that's how I see the world at the moment. We had a recent tragic case in NY where a man who was to go on trial for rape killed the woman who was to testify against him. The logic of a psycho, of course it never dawned on our wronged man that rape is wrong in the first place but now to prevent his rape trial he is now going on trial for murder. Or Muslim radicals blowing themselves up when their leaders never do. It's like Lucifer going on "Jeopardy" with the clueless and blowing them all away.

Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here.

I am a solipsistic, self-absorbed, self-pitying, narcissistic and vindictive gay American

I am so not on Jim McGreevey's side in his nasty custody battle with ex-wife Dina Matos McGreevey regarding their young daughter Jacqueline. McGreevey, former Democratic governor of New Jersey, resigned the statehouse in August 2004 when scandal swirled when he, um, tapped his lover Golan Cipel for the job of Director of the NJ Dept. of Homeland Security. He wrote a coming out book about it all called simply The Confession in which he admits that, even when he was acting governor, he had quickie and anonymous gay sex at various rest stops along the Interstate. His ex-wife has now come out with her own version of their marriage, Silent Partner. McG wants little Jackie to spend at least half her time with him and his male lover, Australian money manager Mark O'Donnell, and in court papers filed he says her intent to block this shows her "irrational fears of his sexuality" (or perhaps all too rational fears). Quoth he:

"She is in deep denial. Why would she question what I have made clear? To try and lessen my gayness by making me bisexual is a clear form of homophobia." So now calling someone a bisexual is some kind of slur? and how did he have sex with her all those years?

What is going on in this guy's head?

How to push people right or left, political mind games

Rush bashing liberals, the liberals say we're not like that and so even they get pulled rightward instead of saying everything he says about us is true. The more they insist they are not pro-abortion the more obvious it is they are but they get sucked into Rush's rightward vortex and will say things like abortion is a bad thing, I don't know anyone who is for abortion, do you? never met the guy, must be a psycho or something to be for feticide. So you go against the criticism by moving in the direction of the critic and the same thing happens to the conservatives, the more the libs paint them as rabid anti-abortionists the more reasonable, dare I say, liberal they become, "oh no, even if Roe is overturned tomorrow rest assured most states will still allow the procedure and the whole country was moving in the direction of, em, reform on abortion policy, wait a minute, did I just say reform."

Beth is the only one I understand.

The masculine/feminine culture debate revisited

I blogged about this not too long ago but it has resurfaced in the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy. Conservatives Michelle Malkin and Jay Nordlinger and now libertarian Neil Boortz are saying that when a group of people are threatened by one long gunman you're going to die anyway and so the best course of action would be to rush the guy and thus limit the carnage. Makes sense to me but Lionel, who recently said that he wants to hear and read EVERYTHING, said this is beneath contempt. Maybe his point has to do with how Malkin, Nordlinger and Boortz presented their argument as somehow blaming the victim or what he called "the wussification of America" but I sure hope he's not actually criticizing the validity of their point. It's true fear is a great paralyzer in such a situation and you almost need a telepathic consensus to pull this thing off, hey wait a minute, that happened on Flight 93 that was headed straight to Washington on 9/11, the heroes on board all gave up their lives but a far greater tragedy was averted (hard to see it this way in the context of the other similar events of that day). In a way we have become a nation of victims and I don't mean this disparagingly in any way, it's simply a statement of fact whether Malkin and company present it politely or not. So why is pushing people to defend themselves more so controversial? Why can't schools hold classes in how to defend yourself and others in such a situation? This is another reason why I much prefer a masculine to a feminine culture.

What's wrong with building a little mystery?

Since the subject of the loner is once again in the news here's another case where the past is considered a bad thing. The loner of the past was a mysterious individual but in a more positive and romantic sense than today, sexy even, in the movies he is the rugged individualist, the drifter through town. But when you get rid of the past you get rid of its poetry, its magic. So while it is important to talk about this national tragedy in terms of failures of security and whatnot let's clear the ground first of all media bias and debris against the past, let's rid ourselves of hostility against whole groups of people who aren't really bothering anyone. What the man lacked who did this terrible thing was a universal and objective moral code to live by which is why people with all types of grievances against society don't commit these acts.

The real issue is Right and Wrong.

Should we criminalize the past?

just like in 1984 and Brave New World

The past was about real romance, not match.com. The past had a breadth and depth to it that the modernists don't know they're doing away with. The past climate that is said to have produced an Imus is said to be bad and the past, pre-Clarence Thomas, that encouraged men to ask the same woman out more than once was bad too. Conservatives are about preserving the past and liberals want to change it. Why is the past bad?

From the New York Times for April the 14th, "Shock Talk Without Apologies", by Robert Wright. He's all for political correctness and feels Ann Coulter should be held to the same standard as Don Imus but the liberals of a bygone era said free speech means nothing if it doesn't protect the ugly and offensive. If people like Mr. Wright had their way things would be, well, perfectly boring. Anyway he makes this rather common but flawed point when he says:

"If social harmony is the goal sanctions should be focused along the ethnic fault lines that are most precarious. The black-white boundary is such a line given both the history of oppression and ongoing economic disparities between blacks and whites" (emphasis z's). I've lived close to a public housing project for much of my life and have noticed just as many poor whites living there as blacks. I myself, white as snow, have never lived high on the hog, most of the time I struggle like the rest of us. I wish I had a little more economic disparity to boast about, I would't have had to sell my used fishing boat a few years back because it was like having two cars.

Abandoning the past is not progress.

Finally some good writing on TV for a change

I've only sampled a few episodes of "30 Rock" on NBC, starring SNL's Tina Fey and actor Alec Baldwin, but the script crackles and pops with some bold writing. The show is about the goings on and inner workings at some sketch comedy show. The Tina character doesn't get along with some black guy and the guy says "you don't like me because I'm black" to which she replies "no, it's because you're a jerk. Why can't we all just not get along?" In another episode she falls madly in love with some guy she saw at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting who spills every secret in his life to his group and she later says she was faking alcoholism to meet him, "ok, I'm a real nut-Anne Heche job". Then to make it up to him she spills some of her own secrets like "come next election I'm going to tell my friends I'm voting for Barack Obama but secretly vote for McCain."

anything politically incorrect is dear to z's heart.

That other 9-11 conspiracy theory

Though for the record it can be said the Bush Administration never officially said the former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein planned or had anything to do with 9/11 the idea that our campaign in Iraq was to avenge the events of that fateful day somehow took firm root in the popular conservative mind. A co-worker of mine, from the time the war started, said good, we're finally doing something about bin-Laden! On the other hand Bush never cleared the air on the matter and let the conspiracist notion float to the point where today we still think we're fighting a War against Terror that is connected to al-Qaeda and 9/11. It's a War against Terror in the sense that it's far better to have another democracy in the Middle East besides Israel but this is in a general sense. A real test for whether you are a true neocon - if you had to choose (and you can't choose both) which would you prefer, that we did what we did and captured Saddam and that the Iraqis hanged him or that OBL face ultimate justice?

conspiracy theories - and we make fun of Charlie Sheen. Now Rosie is a dope, she has demonstrated this well, of that there is no longer any doubt, but Bill O'Reilly is strongly hinting that she should lose her job over her saying that the U.S. government planned 9/11. This is very dangerous to a free country, that only those who think inside the box like O'Reilly should have full unabridged free speech rights, I mean where would the z-man be? This is very selfish Bill, very selfish.

I mean it's one thing to be a little edgy

Leftie commentator Christopher Hitchens has just published a new book damning all the world's religions, yeah, he's that same Hitchens guy who once wrote a book bashing Mother Theresa in The Missionary Position. Being edgy without being charming is an unpardonable mannerism of style, you're just a hater, you may as well just flush yourself down the toilet. I mean is there anyone or anything this man likes? He's like Dante's Lucifer in his Inferno in the innermost core of hell encased not in fire but in a block of ice. You'd hate to bring such a guy to see your aging father in some nursing home - "yeah, when I get in that condition I'll tell ya what, you all can have some fun and have a game throwing peanuts in my mouth." Nice guy.

When celebrities bitch and moan it ain't the same thing

"Today" show co-host Meredith Vieira is now complaining that she has to get up at 3 in the morning every weekday and be driven into Manhattan at 4:30 to do her show. She calls it sleep deprivation but I ain't feeling her pain. I too get up early every day but I don't have my lack of sleep compensated by millions of dollars a year. Celebs also court fame but hate the paparazzi. I ain't defending them but stop acting like Britney and Lindsay and Paris in public, be low-key and operate under the radar. I don't recall seeing too many stories and photos about Danny Aiello.

24 is starting to resemble a bad comic book

Milo has taken an interest in Nadia. Now they both have very important jobs to do at CTU preventing the End of the World As We Know It but somehow Milo sees himself as God's gift to the female species and cornered this Islamic hottie last week and planted a nice wet one on her face and she seemed to like it. I found the whole thing annoying, it's not the z-man's style, and then there's President Wayne Palmer who has been working diligently to foil Vice President Noah Daniels' plan to nuke the Middle East. Palmer keeps asking his doctor for adrenaline shots to keep him from lapsing back into a coma and letting Daniels take charge of foreign policy even though this is raising his blood pressure through the roof. Palmer didn't like Daniels calling him weak and decided to launch the nuke strike anyway to prove what a man he is. This Oval Office definitely needs a Dr. Phil type. The show is just jumping the shark every week and it wouldn't surprise me if this is 24's last real season. It's more a graphic novel now than a drama, wrap it up and call it a season, put it on DVD and put something else on next January.