I'm not a liberal...

...I just have liberal positions (Obama)

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm an alcohol abuser" (Billy Joel to Katie Couric)

I'm not a criminal, I just commit crimes.

I'm not a drug dealer, I just sell drugs.

I'm not a stalker, I just follow people (the old Jack Jordan line)

Welcome to the general election buddy!

Bush made some recent noise about those liberal "appeasers" of terrorists, those who want to compromise and talk with them and Obama took great offense at having his manhood questioned and so Bush and friends said

"were we talking about you brother?"

just a flava of the upcoming election brotherman, get used to it. Now Obama has gone on record as saying he would meet with the leaders of such rogue nations as Iran, Syria and North Korea and now doesn't like to be called a pansy on foreign policy. He'd rather it all be a game of whiffle ball between himself and Mac, softball even and he'll choose the umpire.

chin music bro, don't crowd the plate like that

but if you ask me this McCain guy seems in it to win it and now you can't even use the Hagee thing against him 'cause the good Rev just apologized to the Catholic League but you seem to have gotten a bad case of the cooties from that Wright guy and they don't seem to be going away. Then there's that Weatherman and I ain't talkin' 'bout Sam Champion. Dude, things are gonna get off the hook after your Convention and you can't keep quoting from your Emily Post Rules of Etiquette that you have tucked under your arm. Toughen up! grow a pair.

Some homey sayings

They say this in the kitchen alot: "If you have time to lean you have time to clean."

Saw this one in a restroom once: "If you sprinkle while you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat."

On an edgy t-shirt: "It's funny until somebody gets hurt, then it's hilarious." (hmmm...don't know about that one)

"I used up all my sick time, now I'm calling in dead."

"Don't hate, participate" (we've covered that), "people who live inside your head" (like that poor man's Kennedy neighbor we all have, he's strictly middle-class but has clout, knows some bigshots and can park on the street cleaning side w/o getting a ticket), "people who masturbate your mind" (like what Obama is doing right now with practically everybody except a few lonely bloggers)

"the great mental flush" like when you dream all night about practically everything, your mind's way of going through your mental dumpster, didn't think that job of so many years ago could still haunt your dreams huh?

"I'm not afraid of dead people, I'm afraid of live people" (very apropos in this day & age) and finally,

"It's a great life if you don't weaken."

You may have heard

about the troubles currently besetting Staten Island Republican Rep. Vito Fossella, preached "family values" his whole life but got arrested recently for a DWI but more importantly, at least in terms of the media, is the revelation that, although married and a family guy, he had an extramarital affair with a lady, she got in the family way herself and bore him a daughter. Now there are calls in some quarters for him to resign but what I don't get, if you take out the DWI from the equation, our friend and hero Bill Clinton got away with hummers right there in the Oval Office (or in some hallway just off the library way there) with an intern no less, he was impeached for perjury in the Paula Jones sexual harassment case relating to this matter but he became stronger over time, he even seemed more popular after the sex stuff. T-shirts appeared out of nowhere in trendy malls across the nation - "so he had an affair, get over it" - and one guy told me "so what, my 401K is doing great", so what's the BIG DEAL about this Fossella guy anyway?

I'd sooner read a tube of toothpaste

than read Barbara Walters' new book Audition which, during one interview on a radio station here, she said would make a wonderful Mother's Day gift. Every book has to have a hook to sell and hers is her Affair. I was never into Barbara Walters, she once famously asked Katherine Hepburn "if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?" (oh I don't know, a weeping willow?) Never much was into celebrity worship anyway, hated those pre-Oscar specials where she'd chat up three big-time celebrities. I myself, if I met a celebrity today could care less to ask for their autograph, don't care if I have a mini-Mead memopad on me, that's for shopping lists and such. They all be so interesting during the Big Interview but I believe Don Rickles once said it best when he said of the famous they all go on the throne like us regular folk or words to that effect & don't bother those bigger bombshells, they of the golden, um, womb, 1/2 of 'em are already reserved for horndog crooner John Mayer anyway and kudos-cubed for ex-View co-host Star Jones' recent commentary on l'affaire Babs, it was refreshing. Now if she were to put the rest of her thoughts in print I'd be the first on line at Barnes&Noble.

Talk about baggage

Obama looks like he's getting ready to board JetBlue! There's the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, then there's his longstanding friendship with 70's Weatherman terrorist and radical Bill Ayers, we have Obama's recent elitist comments at that SanFran get-together, and then there's his book in which he rather casually talks about his little bit of casual pot and coke use in his youth when times were rough ("a little pot, a little blow but no smack").

a little Samsonite action

...toothbrush (check), clean underwear (check), socks (check)...

"Sir, can I help you with that?"

That's mighty white of you

Why is it ok for Obama to talk of his support among African-Americans but Hillary can't talk about her support among middle-class working-class whites without college degrees? So what's up with organized punditry these days? they all speak with the same voice and this echo chamber insists Hillary leave now and cede the nomination to Obama or else risk tearing the very fabric of the Democratic Party apart. Whence comes this melodramatic hyperbole? (yes, I can out-Will George Will at times) In the olde days the longer and more drawn out and fierce a primary season was it was all good, now we have our candidate and he's gone through our crucible, should be the right guy (or gal) for the job. The chattering classes have got it all wrong, the real question is not should she drop out but is he even sellable in the general election against McCain? The Cult of Obama has gotten everyone, including even many prominent conservatives, totally disoriented and off-center. Wake up and smell the coffee people and pundits, who do you really want answering that phone at 3 in the AM?

anti-smoking ads

They've gotten more gruesome but the latest one, some woman who lost the tips of her fingers, now they're just stubs, has something to do with bone shear but I would hazard a week's salary and go out on a limb here and say the vast majority of smokers know it's bad for you, ok, so knowing this they've made their choice so what's the point of all these ads? I thought we were pro-choice here.

Alot of African news going on

Don't know if you 've heard, it was the smallest squib in the NY Post somewhere in the middle yesterday, but the other day a U.S. Navy ship in the Indian Ocean launched some cruise missiles deep into Somalia killing the al-Qaeda leader there, the notorious 30-old Aden Hashi Ayro. Also killed were Ayro's brother and ten of his top lieutenants. Then there's Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe and his refusal to step down graciously after losing an important election to the leader of the opposition party, Morgan Tsvangirai, head of the Movement for Democratic Change. Mugabe of the ZANU-PF party says it was 47.9% to 43.2% in which close case there's supposed to be some kind of run-off or something but Tsvangirai says he won by 50.3% and therefore things were rigged. Elsewhere there's a critical food shortage in Malawi, the main meal everyday from aide workers consists basically of your porridge, no Mickie D's or pizza joints over there. As a sidenote someone once gave me a small bag of Malawi gin, not bad.

It's not all about Paula, Miley, Britney, UMA, Lindsay or Jeremiah. There be another world out there and I'm glad to see the Bush Administration not so exclusively focused on Iraq anymore, there are many al-Qaeda cells in Africa, there have been embassies bombed there but it's all about "The Insider" these days and who crooner John Mayer is bedding or Patrick Dempsey being named by "People" magazine as sexiest man alive. So kudos to the Newshour with Jim Lehrer for their heavy focus on African issues recently, too bad even they were forced to cover Eliot Spite-zer's sex life not that long ago but they were forced to since he was a sitting governor, it's not like they had a panel discussion on Paula's Idol confusion (no, not one of us ever woke up not knowing what day it was or forgot somebody's name at work). Tabloid journalism, it's like when you were young and your Mom said to eat an orange when there's a box of Devil Dogs on top of the breadbox.

Would you argue with God?

or why even conservatism tends towards moral relativism in the end, aka liberalism

Steamtable Catholicism got me thinking. I mentioned there that even many of those staunch conservative and tradition-minded Catholics don't care to fully partake of that item known as Catholic Just War Doctrine which, honestly applied, holds that the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was ethically wrong. Has nothing to do with politics per se, one very important principle of the Church's teaching is that you cannot deliberately target innocent civilian populations in time of war, ok. Now I would hazard a guess most modern-day conservatives support Truman's action but the question before the board today is this - would you argue with God? Put another way, let's say when we go before God someday he kindly explains to us that by His Divine Reckoning that particular action was grossly immoral, would we still stubbornly hold to our positions and even argue the point before Him or would we humbly admit our mistake and errors in our moral reasoning? It's a rhetorical, theoretical question and can be applied to any issue under the sun, I'm using this one today because of the vast majorities who still say we did the right thing. The arguments advanced for the bombing all smack of moral relativism, pragmatism and I really need not repeat them here, the salient point being most people don't seem to care but what does God think? Shouldn't the moral compass of a religious and spiritual nation be higher than this?

Would you argue with God? (Honorable mention goes to conservative thinkers Joe Sobran, Pat Buchanan and the late Russell Kirk for opposing the use of the Bomb)

Row row row your boat

Maybe the Rev. Wright is really a closet Hillary supporter. Political reporter Fred Dicker over at the NY Post says he's bitter over Obama's "betrayal" and that's why he unloaded the other day. Whatever, some friends just have a penchant for always embarrassing you. Fished with a guy once on a large lake, two nice girls were sunbathing on a large rock and we were fishing in the area. Nice time to strike up a conversation, no? But I know how the guy is, with a couple beers under his belt the guttural slob side comes out so I just ignored the situation and rowed as far away from them as possible (if need be I had my line down pat: "No, I don't know this guy. He's homeless and I just picked him up. I'm dropping him off at the bridge so he can hitch a ride."). So what Obama needs to do, when the Rev. has a few Snapples and has to pull into shore to use a tree Obama needs to shove his johnboat off when he's not looking and just strand him there and continue rowing rowing rowing. Yeah, when he's finished and he zips himself up Obama will see him in the distance yelling and screaming and waving his arms but this is supposed to be a serious campaign, no? So the wind be against you brother, a little more muscle on that left oar.

You go girl!

Reading about Anucha Brown Sanders going crazy at some auction, bidding on everything in sight, she of suing Isiah Thomas for sexual harassment fame, and there's nothing like 11 mil to make your pain go away and I've been wondering is this progress? Feminists have had their day in the sun but I think much of sexual harassment law actually encourages women to see themselves as victims and I don't see how this empowers women. Celebs taking their secret admirers to court, now the UMA guy is a certified nutbag but what I really think bothers these gals is they don't want some average Joe going after them, they'd rather have Denzel or Leo DiCapricio, I mean DiCaprio. Was Anita Hill a pioneer or did she set women back? and whatever happened to that time-honored tradition of just slapping a man across his face? You see the morning paper gives z a little agita. Anucha, go easy with your windfall, you're making your sisters look bad.

More on the Rev. Jeremiah Wright,

Now the z-man blog is all about having a different angle and so it seems to me righties can criticize American society all they want, Malkin can bash our pornofied culture to her heart's content and yet her patriotism is never called into question, ditto Maggie Gallagher and our divorce culture, Laura Ingraham and our abortion culture and yet I agree much with what all three have to say on these matters. Lefties can't do this though over their pet issues like economic, social and racial injustice and so it seems to me the right to criticize your own country cuts one way which is not to say the Rev. Wright is not radical and bombastic but I'm just trying to make sense of our current political climate. Maybe it has to do more with the way we express ourselves, after all Laura has never called for the bombing of abortion clinics on her side of the aisle, and the Right generally being critical of conspiracy theories in general (so what Mad Scientist invented the AIDS virus pray tell?). But since we be on the subject of conspiracy theories why doesn't the Rev. Wright give a major speech on the origins of Planned Parenthood, the racism of its founder Margaret Sanger and why doesn't he see the abortion of black babies as a silent form of genocide? There's alot on the plate here so chow down!

The AmChurch

Bob Novak, in today's column, talks about some major Catholic pro-abortion politicians who received Communion during the two masses celebrated by Pope Benedict XVI during his six-day stay here. They are House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Sens. John Kerry, Christopher Dodd and Edward M. Kennedy on the Democratic side and Rudolph Guiliani on the RINO side. The three Dems received the sacred host at Nationals Park in Washington courtesy of Archbishop Donald Wuerl there and Guiliani at Yankee Stadium courtesy of New York Cardinal Edward Egan although I heard on the radio just now that Egan says he was against Guiliani's action and agrees with the Pope's declaration on the matter. I call this the Bob Novak Effect, just like when he nailed Hillary and her plans to get and broadcast dirt on Obama and she immediately denied that so now Cardinal Egan is saying, in so many words, that this impeccable and well-respected journalist of many decades standing has his facts wrong. As I keep saying there's the official Roman Catholic Church headed by the pope in the Eternal City with its official and unchangeable doctrines and dogmas and then there's the AmChurch (American Church). Gotta love that Bob Novak Effect though, it's off the hook.

What I don't get...

...is many of the same African-Americans who are today condemning and denouncing the verdict in the Sean Bell case once were cheering and overjoyed when O.J. was acquited.

Why a Hillary vs. McCain contest could swing towards Hillary

To begin even his most "ardent" conservative supporters readily admit he's not 100% or 80% or even 70% conservative,

ERGO (big Latin word for "therefore"),

he has a liberal side which leads me to believe that many of those voters who are liberally disposed, either center or left-of-center would go for him, ergo they might figure if we go for him why don't we just go for her? Ronald Reagan, now he was a bona-fide conservative (for the most part, yeah I'm aware of the deficits rung up during the Reagan years) and he attracted a mainly conservative vote, even those blue-collar Dems who crossed party lines were also social conservatives but the punditocracy (of which z is a member now I guess) says that McCain will garner all kinds of votes. Like maybe the Republican Party, aka the Stupid Party, is shooting itself in the foot over this one and when he loses he'll be hawking Viagra too in a couple years like what's his name? I know this liberal guy, he's a hardcore Democrat and a good friend, and we were talking one day at work, this was a couple years before even these primaries, and he said he wouldn't mind seeing McCain in the Oval Office one day, he was the one who brought up the subject and he went further and said he'd even vote for him, now what does that say?

Jimmy Carter still thinks he's president

So I see his picture in the paper today, all serious and pensive like a sitting president, and he's been trying to broker a big Mideast peace package by, among other things, talking to the leader of the terrorist group Hamas. Must miss the Anwar Sadat/Menachem Begin days but I'm beginning to think we have a budding syndrome on our hands here just waiting for a name, ex-presidents who can't just retire and go away and hit the links but

get involved,

perhaps in his own mind he still sees himself as a great president, dunno, maybe this is one symptom of the syndrome as yet to be named but it annoys, geez guy, gas lines were high, 'member? and you took in a whole boatload or two or three of rogue criminals from Cuba courtesy of ole Fidel, go home and rent a classic movie, know what I'm sayin'?

RETIRE ALREADY!!!

Robowhat?

Yup, the young people be experimenting with the cough medicines. New term for Webster, robotripping as in taking well beyond the recommended dosage of such cough medicines as Robitussin, say 20, 30 or even 50 liquid gels. Read an article about this the other day, more and more young people are doing this to get high, to go on a trip, but then their blood pressure skyrockets, they're totally out of it and usually some nurse or doctor then calls the bewildered parents who had no idea. The age is getting stranger by the day, used to be the biggie was pot. I never got the whole trip thing, I mean whatever personal problem you're tripping from is going to be right back there foursquare and center when you get back. Must be bored, they're not out playing baseball and fishing anymore, that's too Fred MacMurrayish I guess. So watch out for all those robotrippers out there, the newest and youngest members of our zombie-fied culture.

Pope Benedict's remarks at youth rally

This was in my neck of the woods, St. Joseph's Seminary in the big YO on April the 19th on a lovely Saturday, would've loved to have gone but watched it on TV just the same. Closed-captioning is wonderful, it helps not just the hard of hearing but all of us. I was able to enjoy a fine cigar outside on the patio while reading Pope Benedict's inspiring words on the screen while looking through the window. One of his main messages to these young people was this era of moral confusion we live in and what he called "the manipulation of the mind" that produces this moral confusion. He did not mention the a-word (abortion) or any other specific word for that matter since he deliberately seems to have cultivated a pastoral style that goes to first principles in a generalized way in the hopes of making us more amenable to the Church's teachings, he wants to get beyond the NO-NO-NO part as he is fond of saying but we all know what he's talking about. One passage in particular struck me and he seems to have purposely evoked the Message of Fatima as his predecessor often did: "The second area of darkness - that which affects the mind - often goes unnoticed and for this reason is particularly sinister. The manipulation of truth distorts our perception of reality and tarnishes our imagination and aspirations...yet freedom is a delicate value. It can be misunderstood or misused so as to lead not to the happiness we all expect it to yield but to a dark arena of manipulation in which our understanding of self and the world becomes confused and distorted by those who have an ulterior agenda." It's as if this is Benedict's own theological explanation for part of the Message of Fatima wherein the Virgin Mary says to Lucia: "Look my child, don't be surprised if, at a certain moment, a certain diabolical disorientation affects the best of minds, a disequlibrium, so that they no longer judge according to the voice of my Son and of Peter." What better way to describe the times we now live in?

The best way I can describe Pope Benedict's birthday

healing, a balm, it's something we as a nation who suffered through 9/11 really needed. The news is always bad, always has been, seems ratings thrive on bad news, his papal visit coinciding with his 81st birthday, it's like just what the doctor ordered. I am usually not big on pomp and circumstance, though I wasn't there in person the sheer pageantry on the South Lawn of the White House yesterday I really enjoyed. Weatherwise the perfect day too, it's like God was smiling. 'Tis a simple blog today, Life in general is bad enough, I just found it healing is all.