Idol without Paula

She's been on since the show's founding and I ain't the president of the Paula Abdul Fan Club or something but it's like when a regular worker leaves for all their faults you still miss them. Ellen the newest judge, no musical expertise or connection to the music world that I know of. Drifted in and out of Idol all last season and what we got was Adam "It's Because I'm a Gay Man" Lambert. Paula has had two careers, as a pop singer and larger imo as a judge on AI. We have treated her zaniness as a threat to the Republic ("oh did you see?") when the more important issue is the government running the country into the ground (Bush government or Obama government, doesn't really matter). Anyway I ain't watching this time 'round. It's not a kind of fervored protest on my part just a show that doesn't know what to do with itself. Did they want to get rid of her all along?

Our over-the-top media (as usual) - why I'm not into political necro

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy 1932-2009

I'm sorry but whenever I hear Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" I think of him ("If you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand") but more on that in a minute. It's funny to hear the msm refer to Kennedy as the liberal lion of the Senate but that's because he described himself as a liberal so it was ok, the msm had no choice. It's kind of like coming out of the closet, the media won't do it for you (the responsible media anyway), you have to get the ball rolling yourself. If not they would have happily referred to him as a moderate because in the universe of the msm, must have something to do with the warping of space/time, parallel universes and wormholes but there are no liberals. OK on to the murky waters of Chappaquiddick.

MY THEORY and it's a darn good one is this and it was first proposed to me by a woman -- Ted was not in the car that night. He gave the keys to Mary Jo when he shouldn't have, everybody must've had some that night and so she was the one who drove off the bridge all alone. This helps enormously to help clear up some discrepancies like why he didn't notify the police immediately afterwards and why he was spotted early the next morning outside his hotel room all clean and with fresh clothes on and seemingly not a care in the world and that's because he didn't know at the time. Not exemplary behavior to be sure but not the monster he was often made out to be by right-wingers to this day.

OK a true John John story. JJ went to a nice restaurant with a woman and the head waiter told this other couple he was relocating them to make room for the Kennedy scion and so the guy was naturally miffed. JJ must have sensed this because after he came in he invited the other couple over to join them for dinner. Years later JJ bumped into the man again and remembered him and asked "so how was your dinner?" That to me speaks volumes, that's all I need to know about the man.

Adam Lambert & Clay Aiken

USUALLY and I'm just sayin' when someone disses the other like Clay did recently and the other responded in kind it really means they have a secret crush on each other. Sounds like they like each other, do I see a teabag in their future?

David Carradine - Even if I were bored out of my skull which is most Sunday nights I wouldn't auto-erotically-asphyxiate myself. I'd sooner read the tube of Crest or bang the crumbs out of the toaster. BB take it away.

Any subjects not covered so far? I can't think of any.

What is the next big news story?

I was thinking of a transformative and positive event that transcends politics, that when everybody went in to work the next day they'd be a little less consumed by the daily grind and go "how about that?" An end to abortion? doubt it, there's seems to be a kink in our culture right now, seems we have to have a little Hoover action from time to time, we could have a thousand methods of birth control tomorrow, wouldn't matter, I don't get it. The cure for cancer? 'twould be nice, we're about due as I keep saying but somehow it never seems to come. World peace? in what lifetime? The capture of OBL? Bush should've wrapped this up and no Mark Levin Fan, this is not some liberal talking point. Abolishing the IRS? that's self-evident but the continued existence of the IRS is why we only have two major political parties and they both remain in power. Madonna becomes a nun? she's back to swinging from the trees again.

Obama as the nation's first African-American president? Many, even a majority might go with this as being the transformative and positive event I'm talking about. Even many conservatives would go along with this, I call this the Peggy Noonan School of Thought, no matter he's a liberal who's sinking our country deeper into debt the important thing is that it happened, mull this over with your brandy at night and get that happy feeling, that mentally orgasmic reverie but for me and Beth and soapie it doesn't satisfy, it's formula food and doesn't fulfill, it doesn't sit in your gut and give you that contented feeling. As a blogger I need to sink my teeth into something. Porkulus, an important but dry subject and I can't blog about Obama for the next four years, it's too depressing and you get that feeling of putting your heart and soul into a blog but where's the influence? where's that Jon Stewart pull? that "did you hear what Z-man just said?" It has to get worse before it gets better as they say. Beth taking a sabbatical from her blogging and yes it is a sabbatical is perfectly understandable, if Nancy Pelosi doesn't follow her own Pope what does that make us?

The culture's in a rut these days. Movies suck although some people feel they still have to go. Pop music, it ain't exactly the '80s and even a recent "House" had an episode about a guy who grows pot in his apartment and got sick from some rat piss, at least FRINGE knows to take a break every once in a while. You'd be surprised at the number of 40-something men seriously browsing through comic book stores, porn is so yesterday. There's no talent out there, people don't know how to make the workplace jazzy and interesting anymore, we're all into our 9-5 little gulags. Come on guys, give us the Big Story!!

My impression of Idol this season

First off it's a weird one and I'm not even talking about the contestants. The judges are acting goofy but it's an annoying goofy, like somebody at work who insists he's funny until someone smacks him inside the head. People can be functionally insane and still report to work in the morning (NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg) but the other thing is the calibration of the judging seems to be way way off especially Simon's. A bunch of chicks'll get up to sing, maybe not bad voices but something's off, maybe the timbre of their voices or their presence and they all go YES YES YES with nary a word of constructive criticism offered their way but then some guy with a great voice'll come on and maybe Randy will say NO and Simon will come up with something out of left field. It's not just me, I've heard others say this when discussing last night's Idol and for most of the show's existence I could find myself agreeing with Simon even if his sarcasm was over the top or uncalled for. I probably won't be watching most of it this time, the panelists have made it way too laborious and how successful are the ones who win in the end anyway? A for instance, after some singer auditioned Kara offered her critique and said something like "that's giving you a real solid." Like trying to be hip and coin her own expressions but what the hell's a solid? Maybe the FRINGE team needs to investigate.

From a purely practical standpoint

for those of you who keep harping on why do we blog about abortion so much it certainly seems to get the most hits, the most comments going compared to some other topics and so pragmatically speaking what's wrong with it? We can blog all day about all and sundry topics especially the non-political but if abortion is what keeps the blogosphere all afire makes sense to me. Daniel hits on the theme of social conservatives, now most people equate social conservatives with opposition to abortion and so BINGO you have yourself a hot thread. Looking at my rather meager hitmeter I am almost forced to go with the topic, it's probably the only subject here that gets tao all excited. David999 recently put us all down as being stuck on stupid and that life doesn't revolve around abortion so where's his thoughts on pets, bad bosses, recipes, music, movies and blogging in general? No Dave we all know everything in life doesn't revolve around abortion but I think you like it when we discuss it anyway. If it's "oh not again!" then seems to me the best course of action would be not to leave any comments anyway on the abortion blogs, we'll see all the goose eggs and get the message.

Ya know?

Waiting

My pastor gave an interesting sermon this past Sunday part of which had to do with waiting. Somehow it tied in with the readings and he said when you stop to think about it most of our life is about waiting. You're waiting for a show to begin, for Mass to start, for work to let out, for someone to come out of the restroom, for your friend. In a way it's like being stuck in traffic, much of your life is consumed by it. You may be waiting for small things or for big things, waiting for something to happen even if you don't know what it is. Sometimes what we're waiting for takes a long time in coming or it never comes at all (success, true romance, justice). People who voted for McCain may have to wait four years or even eight. We're waiting for a pro-life culture, we're waiting for social equality, we're waiting for world peace, we're waiting for this and we're waiting for that.

The theme song to Mahogany asks "do you know where you're going to?" The drifter in Two Moon Junction says "I don't know where I'm going but I'm in a hurry to get there." Some of us wait all our lives. "I can feel it coming in the air tonight. I've been waiting for this moment all my life, oh lord!" but what's Phil Collins waiting for? It's like waiting gives Life its meaning, after all we are waiting for something and this gives us a kind of goal, a destination, a framework of anticipation. Then again some of us just scrap through our day not thinking of the Bigger Questions.

Right now I'm just waiting for some of my blogging friends to get home from work. Later.

Has McCain lost his mojo?

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wolf Blitzer's CNN show "Late Edition" on Sunday that Obama being the first African-American nominee of a major party is "great for our country. I do think it says we've come a long way." She said she's made her decision who to vote for but wouldn't reveal the answer and denies rumors that she wants to be Obama's VP. She'd be a great choice though. Picking Hillary would only be a reminder of Obama's traditional liberalism, since he is now under the powerful vortex of Z's Law of the Power of Negative Appraisal Condi is the ONLY way to go. Yes, Hillary is sooooo yesterday she's not even assured of the VP slot anymore, you got the black chick in leather boots who has strode the colossus of the World and who can greatly offset his inexperience in the foreign policy arena. An Obama/Rice administration even has, let's face it, a certain sex appeal for those bored with all things McCain and don't worry, she's pro-choice. Won't even be close, it's Kama-Sutra vs. Straight Missionary after a highball, it's the modern Shakespearian version of Batman as opposed to Adam West and Robin and the Batcave, it's Maroon 5 doing a song with Rihanna, it ROCKS!

These chicks have issues

"I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats."
(Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood)

"And don't tell me you're sorry when you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught."
(Take A Bow - Rihanna) ~~~btw I always thought this would be a great line a state trooper could use when he pulls you over, he could even sing it~~~

"I learned the hard way
That they all say
Things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks
deep down under you and
Your twisted words your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry."
(Love Song - Sara Bareilles)

I detect a theme here. They really should make this into the Men Suck World Concert Tour of 2008 so I say let the chicks vent. I have to say though I like the Bareilles song, for starters the singer has a very clear voice and you can make out every word without googling lyrics, something I have to do with Fergie and others from time to time. Take it away.

I'd sooner read a tube of toothpaste

than read Barbara Walters' new book Audition which, during one interview on a radio station here, she said would make a wonderful Mother's Day gift. Every book has to have a hook to sell and hers is her Affair. I was never into Barbara Walters, she once famously asked Katherine Hepburn "if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?" (oh I don't know, a weeping willow?) Never much was into celebrity worship anyway, hated those pre-Oscar specials where she'd chat up three big-time celebrities. I myself, if I met a celebrity today could care less to ask for their autograph, don't care if I have a mini-Mead memopad on me, that's for shopping lists and such. They all be so interesting during the Big Interview but I believe Don Rickles once said it best when he said of the famous they all go on the throne like us regular folk or words to that effect & don't bother those bigger bombshells, they of the golden, um, womb, 1/2 of 'em are already reserved for horndog crooner John Mayer anyway and kudos-cubed for ex-View co-host Star Jones' recent commentary on l'affaire Babs, it was refreshing. Now if she were to put the rest of her thoughts in print I'd be the first on line at Barnes&Noble.

Daughtry has a nice sound

Went up the line yesterday way up in the sticks, packed a few miles on the car, kinda my version of a retreat aka a daytrip, had the station tuned and on came a few hits by Daughtry, just one of many stars flung off that fiery pinwheel known as "American Idol." Has a nice sound to it like he was born to do what he's doing, has a heavy touch of angst to his lyrics not in a depressing way but haunting just the same, hard to put into a genre (philosophical rock?) but perfect for a long trip. I'm going with Michael Johns on this season, caught him midthrough but saw enough to know he should win hands down. So far through these many seasons though nobody has that unique trademark sound like a Daughtry, he's like Steve Perry of Journey, other singers may be great but they don't have that extra hard-to-put-down-in-words quality, count me a fan.

The current crop...

...of Republican presidential contenders, McCain, Romney and Huck and the lack of real influence of third parties reminds me of the playlists of radio stations today. You don't really care for it but you have no choice, the songs are bland and slightly irritating but it's what everyone is listening to so it has to be good. They keep playing it over and over, think The Fray, and so you brainwash yourself and try to get into it (McCain would be a slow waltz, think Lawrence Welk). You don't have a CD player in your car (the 3rd Party) and you realize Maroon 5 is in that other party, Fergie's over there too and as a rock-ribbed conservative you're just depressed all the time.

"Sittin' by the dock of the bay
watching all the conservatives go away,
Traveled a thousand miles from home
Just to make this third party my home."

When you're right you're right

Score one for the Rosie

She is right on in her remarks about "American Idol" and in particular Simon Cowell and his cruelty. This is where the culture is at right now and truth be told the Donald is a dick too, holding his "Apprentice" party at Hef's Playboy Mansion. You can't blame Melania for having a clause about affairs in their prenup, he's a god in his own head who can't take the slightest criticism. I liked Dr. Phil's thoughts on Idol, these are people who only want their 15 minutes of fame, go easy already!

So Liz Smith thinks the hit show "24" is too right-wing for her and wonders what Kiefer Sutherland's father, Donald, thinks of it all. In the season premiere the Counter Terrorist Unit of LA, CTU, negotiated with terror mastermind Fayed to give them the head of their star agent, Jack Bauer, on a plate in order to prevent future attacks on American soil. This is a right-wing position Liz? Bush wouldn't even compromise with Zarqawi to save Nick Berg's head. Ah, the perils of judging something you haven't even seen, something the libs are constantly chastising us not to do.

Great show "20/20" did last night on credit-card companies and how they love people to go into debt they can't get out of, that's how they make their millions. The show makes you angry at all those country club Republicans who were so key in passing bankrupty "reform" at the behest of these usurious credit-card companies who began whining about families being unable to meet their debt obligations. Loansharks and Republicans, perfect together. This is why the Repubs will continue to lose election after election, they no longer speak for the Common Man like they used to. People who masturbate your mind

Art & Life

Why can't life be more like an old-time movie, at least some of the time? In many ways I prefer Art to Reality and art is often a reflection of what reality should be as in the 1967 movie The Graduate which made Dustin Hoffman a star. For some this is a movie about adultery but for me I was more captivated by the larger love story of the last third of the film where Benjamin Braddock goes off to Berkeley to find Elaine so he can marry her. Ben had had an affair with her mother, Mrs. Robinson, and Elaine can't forgive him and so she tries to forget about him and is set to marry a young doctor. During the ceremony at a Presbyterian church bride and groom are about to kiss each other when Ben screams "Elaine" over and over from the church choir and the movie ends with Ben stealing her away and they live happily ever after.

The trouble with pc is that it is never poetic, the proper thing for Ben to have done would have been to forget about Elaine and get on with his life and she could get on with hers. If this happened in real life Ben would be arrested for stalking and harassment but Ben does the heroic thing over the proper thing to do. This was the Second Golden Age of Movies, the period from the late '60s through the '70s, as movies then portrayed real life with real emotions, they had real storylines and you don't seem to get this quality in the cinema anymore. The Graduate has turned into Redeye but Ben is my kind of character and hats off to him, if only more people sensed the potential for art in real life instead of getting all uppity. The Simon and Garfunkel score was just the icing on the cake, a DVD worth having in your collection. People who masturbate your mind

So let Danny Glover go there

I know political correctness wants us all to be sensitive and do the right thing but does it have to be blind too? I was watching the "My9News" last night in NY and they had a special investigative report about NY cabbies who won't pick up black fares or drive them to ghetto areas. I'm sure that if you're black it IS frustrating when cabs pass you by but the liberal media oversimplifies these issues as good vs. bad, black vs. white. There have been cabdrivers shot and killed by black passengers or driving in poor urban crime-infested areas and while most who live in the ghetto are decent people we can't become offended when we try to highlight the crime blight. I used to drive for a flower shop in the Bronx and went into some of these areas, you'd pass a drug addict lying in a hallway and the elevator would reek of urine, in Co-Op city apartment complexes they have signs posted that read "if you see gang activity please call..." so I said not the job for me and people I knew, even some white people, acted like I was the one with the problem. It just ain't a simple issue is all I'm saying.

Looking back on doctors I think some of them may be pervs themselves. When I was growing up I went to a doc for an earache but he decides instead to play with my balls and tells me to cough. Another time I went for a routine checkup and some other male doc is taking a piece of lint that wasn't bothering anyone out of my peehole. Now instead of going to the doctor I just read a book or visit a museum.

I like to think of myself as basically a clean and hygienic guy but then you use the stall at work and see a skid stain in your Hanes and so you feel like a dirtbag for the rest of the day and want to go home.

So what's up with The Shining, that classic movie by Stephen King? In one scene a man in an animal costume is giving a blowjob to a clown sitting on a bed and yet all anyone talks about is "HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!" Explain.

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Is it just me or does music in general just suck especially the music on 'PLJ here in New York? It all sounds like a bunch of angry grunge.

I hope I'm not boring Anonymous.People who masturbate your mind

Fitty cents will get you a cup of coffee

"Do you have fitty cents? I wanna get a cup of coffee." The other day in Queens, NY rapper "Fifty Cent" was driving a new Lamborghini when cops pulled him over and arrested him for not having either a driver's license or insurance and registration. Many in the crowd of black onlookers sided with Fitty over the cops and said things like "stay strong Fitty." Maybe they wanted to give Bill Cosby something to talk about in his next speech but this anti-cop mentality is a bane in the black community. Let's see, what did Fitty do wrong? You have a car that costs as much as a house and you don't even have the proper paperwork, I dunno know what the problem is. Every now and then the rappers have to do something to maintain their thug image, like DMX the other day putting down Jay-Z for wearing sandals, said it's a sissy thing for a man to do (I kinda hate sandals on men myself, the men always have ugly feet sometimes with yellow gnarled toenails). Continued DMX, "he's only doing it 'cos he's in love and follows everything Beyonce tells him to" (honestly I'd have to admit I'd follow most of her directives myself). Sounds like a rap feud brewing which happens when the gangsta front has been too peaceful of late (how come you never hear of Gwen Stefani taking a shot at Mariah Carey or Celine Dion involved in a drive-by?) Seems like most rappers don't want to go the Diddy route of social respectability, hell Jadakiss is still hustling. Other than that there's really not a whole lot Cos can talk about.

What's with the Donald of late? He seems to have become a caricature of himself ("Martha's show was an abysmal failure while my 'Apprentice' has been a tremendous success.") MAD TV doesn't even have to have a scriptwriter for this, the Donald provides all the best lines himself.

I'm not voting in the midterms. Republicans and Democrats are more or less the same beast and both support leviathan government that intrudes upon our personal lives. When was the last time you heard a prominent Republican call for not more laws but less? I'm conservative/libertarian at heart and there's really no one out there for me.

I've learned alot from the Mel Gibson saga. Not only in the future am I not going to apologize for things done in the past but I'm also going to refuse others' apologies to me as well. Oh what a wonderful world it will be.On the Right