Why comics all swing from the left

I finally figured out why so many comedians swing to the Left, maybe it's just because the Right is so much easier to make fun of. The Left may be wrong about most things but they may be right about the War, even a little bit. The Right might be right about many things but wrong about the War, even a tad. It would be too easy to make a Macabre House on the Left, what with Terri Schiavo and New York Times Magazine reporters who never met an abortion they didn't like, throw in a feminist coven or two for good measure, but the Left is pretty much upfront about their Death Worship these days, what makes the Macabre House on the Right much more scary is that they purport to be

The Party of Morality and All That is Decent,

people you can trust. I expect more. As the Joelster says "I'm movin' out!"People who masturbate your mind

Isn't this what free speech is all about?

There is a crotchety middle-aged man in town whom the other conservatives seem to shun, some even call him a closet lib. He can be found most nights at the Tavern & Grille at the end of town holding court, getting in touch with the common pulse. Last night you walked in and heard him put down Betty Ford for breaking down at Gerry's memorial service. At first you are shocked by the outrageousness of his words but then you sense an original thought, a rare commodity these days. Then you realize you've always had these unformed thoughts rattling around in your mental attic somewhere but you were never fully aware of it. You've often thought yourself why do religious folk who believe in God and an afterlife get so bent out of shape when a loved one dies even when they don't die tragically but in a normal and expected fashion, life having run its course. You would never say this and anyway people mourn in their own way but now you kinda like the guy regardless and could probably have a decent conversation with the man about the 20 year old guy who was arrested the other day in a Staten Island McDonald's for calling a clerk a faggot for not giving him a McFlurry, whatever happened to free speech, what are we some police state or something? Many in the bar like the man and enjoy his company but the other, more respectable denizens of RightTown like O'Reilly hate the guy 'cos he doesn't get with the program. He makes fun of both Left and Right and you're not supposed to do this, pick a side, any side buddy and stick with it. He even disparagingly called Sean and Rush border collies in his new book for barking and yapping at any conservative who dares stray too far off the plantation. The chutzpah, the audacity, the nerve...

the balls.

His name is Michael Savage. People who masturbate your mind

From Whitewater to genitals all in one season

A middle-aged but young looking man with a rather pleasant looking face approaches you. He has the hint of a benign smile forming and has glasses on and is wearing a pair of beige Dockers with some casual brown loafers and a short sleeve sky blue polo shirt with a fancy, rather intricate design done in a wavy pattern. It's probably you and your latent thoughts (you really should get that checked out) but it somehow reminds you of male and female genitalia with some spermatozoa thrown in. He is smoking a cigar and has some Macadamia nuts in his hand.

"Hi! I'm Ken Starr, I'm your next door neighbor."People who masturbate your mind

It's a vibe thing

Macabre House on the Right

Since you can remember you were always against abortion, euthanasia and the Playboy philosophy at the root of it all and were looking for a nice place to live in a good neighborhood. You fell in love with the House on the Right and it had a good school district that didn't teach kids they came from apes and how to put on a Trojan and so you settled in. You don't know why you didn't notice it before with your walk with the realtor but there it is when you were chilling one night in the living room, an enlarged and framed photo of Saddam hanging from the gallows, next to that is a psychedelic poster of a huge mushroom cloud. On the coffee table are National Review magazine articles in defense of the late right-wing Chilean strongman Augusto Pinochet, he may have tortured people and violated some human rights but he was more congenial to our national interests than other dictators, like say Saddam. On the bookshelf are bound testimonials published by Judie Brown of the American Life League, testimonials from married couples themselves who have divorced each other because they had sex with each other before the wedding day. You look in the stereo cabinet and see CDs like "Sean Hannity's Greatest Radio Hits", #3 track - Nick Berg screaming during his beheading at the hands of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

And that's only the living room, you haven't checked the attic and the cellar yet.People who masturbate your mind

The ICC

Though they won't complain about it this time there is a reason why many neocons are wary of the International Criminal Court. They know it was theoretically possible (although highly improbable) that Harry Truman could have been brought to trial for nuking two Japanese cities and they also know that former Secretary of State and National Security Advisor Henry Kissinger is oft mentioned by those on the Left as a candidate. In his book The Trial of Henry Kissinger (Verso Books - 2001) Christopher Hitchens indicts Kissinger for his alleged involvement in the following - the war in Indochina, mass murder in Bangladesh, assassinations in Santiago, Nicosia and Washington DC, and also for sabotaging the Vietnam peace accords at Paris and thereby prolonging the war. Hell, while we're at it why don't we bring ole Fidel to justice before he croaks? Let's throw in Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez as a 2 fer.People who masturbate your mind

Better him than Osama

So Saddam is no more. What do you say to a woman when your line of work is executioner? I can at least say I made quiche the other day at work, "oh really? How much heavy cream do you use? How much cheddar to Swiss?"

"I helped kill Saddam."
"Oh"

Death penalty is primitive and barbaric but people's minds are made up so I don't much debate it anymore, it serves their most primal emotional need of revenge which they dress up as retributive justice. They say they filmed it so Saddam's killing will probably wind up on Faces of Death, sure to be a collector's item among the rabid right. Sean better put in for it now while supplies last.People who masturbate your mind

What kind of question is that?

National Review asks "are we allowed to be against Barack Obama?"

He was on the Oprah the other day with the lovely missus talking about how he called his wife up from the Senate Office Building after helping to pass some crucial nuclear non-proliferation bill or something when Michelle said "we have ants!!! Can you get some ant traps on the way home?"

In answer to NR's question,

in a word, NO.People who masturbate your mind

Celeb worship

E.T. and Access Hollywood, they're more or less the same thing, celebrity suck-up shows that would do Jenna Jameson proud. All that BLING BLING, it's disgusting and obscene stuff when you consider all the masses in the world starving but that's just it, Hollywood stars feel so guilty about all their incredible wealth that they reflexively vote and preach Democratic Party values so as to balm their consciences, at least this is Rush's view and I agree. And the shows are so loud as if to GRAB your attention. I'm sorry but the only Hollywood celebrities I like these days are Danny Aiello and Fred MacMurray and he's dead. And I'm sick of seeing those two blockheads, Matt Damon and Leo DiCaprio, in the same movies, like in The Departed, it gets damn near confusing. Monsterism.People who masturbate your mind

George Will

I can imagine George Will as a shrink, a man sits on his couch and goes over his problems and his life,

Will: "I know what your problem is, you have a malignant case of solipsistic narcissism, all you do is talk about yourself." (see footnote)

Will doesn't like you bloggers and has issues with TIME magazine choosing you, yes you, as its "person" of the year. I agree with him about the mindlessless of YouTube and MySpace but that's where we part company. He doesn't like bloggers making themselves the subject of their blogs but blogging means different things to different people, for many it may be cathartic and I don't think talking about your life experiences automatically means you are overly in love with yourself. I myself am my own harshest critic but I just love to blog about EVERYTHING, including George Will.

(footnote - solipsistic narcissism, to be distinguished from narcissistic solipsism)People who masturbate your mind

24

I'm lost without my "24", when it's off the air it's like prison boredom. The other day I bought the box set for Season 5 and this stuff is addictive. It's been said they have some conservative writers and some liberal writers and I got a whiff of the latter when President Charles Logan's chief of staff, Walt Cummings, said he told some Russian separatists about where they can find these canisters of military-grade nerve gas but that he controls the detonation configuration so the plan was to set them off when the terrorists got as far as Central Asia so people would be convinced of the need for an increased U.S. military presence there and we need the oil. Got me thinking maybe Bush was duped by people in his own CIA who knew they were misleading him about those Iraqi WMDs and that's what led us into war but anyway, like an addict without his weekly fix, the season premiere of "24" is just around the corner, if I can just hold on 'til then.

Rich Lowry and other conservatives have had it with CNN's Lou Dobbs for taking on Big Business and this is why they'll also lose the White House in '08, big biz is a sacred cow for them and if you criticize its practices, like laying off hundreds of long-time workers, then you are just an anti-capitalist socialist pig like Gwyneth Paltrow but that's just it with pundits of all stripes these days, everybody thinks they are always right and the talking heads (more like bobbleheads), both left and right, always talk over each other. There's such a welter of political opinion out there that your head swims. Might be a good idea to lay off the paper for a week, get your mind flushed out, but when you get back they'll just be sparring again calling the opposing side evil for opposing the war or whatever, just the right time to plug in your "24". People who masturbate your mind

Obama and the media

Having thought about this Barack Obama thing I think in large part he is a creation of the media but not totally, that would be unfair. That we are even talking about a one-term Democratic Senator from Illinois as being a viable presidential contender shows he has that something extra but, with the exception of Hillary, in a Democratic field as dull as this one you almost become charismatic by default. When he does run, and he will, look for the msm to constantly refer to him as a "moderate" despite having a 100% liberal voting record, even having voted for international funding for groups that provide abortions. In the msm worldview there is no such thing as a liberal anyway, there are just those radical righties and the rest of us, aka moderate folk.

Former Republican Congressman Tom DeLay has said it will be a Hillary/Obama ticket in '08 and I agree although it's possible to flip that one around and play with it a little. DeLay is urging conservative bloggers to find something on Obama, anything, to derail his prospects. With so much to blog about these days, being a fairly conservative blogger myself, yeah Tom, that's what I'll do in my spare time when I'm not putting in 6 days of full-time work myself. Conservatives who do this, who want us to roll around in the pigpen, can't be too confident of their own political philosophy of conservatism, they must not think that pro-life plays in Peoria, so I guess they feel compelled to go this route. Oh well, at least he's honest.

NR's Richard Brookhiser is touting a Giuliani presidency in '08 and is even referring to him as our next wartime president. If you're a rightie and prefer to go this route, all or nothing for the war, then Rudy should be your man. Brookhiser is not overly concerned with his extremely liberal stances on such social issues as abortion and gay marriage. I think he is willing to overlook these because he knows the war is not popular now and Rudy is the only viable Republican candidate with enough of a powerhouse name to make the case for war ad infinitum and get away with it but my prognostication for '08 is that even he will lose to HillObama (or ObamaHill), the country will be so sick of the war by then with so many more casaulties and about a DRAFT don't even go there.

At any rate come November of '08 the sun will continue to rise and I'll be up early every day with my lunchpail runnin' on Dunkin' and blogging about God knows what then in my very meager spare time. If Rudy were smart he'd ask right now if there's any room for him in a Hillary cabinet.People who masturbate your mind

Don't confuse me with the facts

Almost every night now the local NY news stations breathlessly tell us the latest developments in the Sean Bell case, the situation on Nov. 25 in Jamaica, Queens when three unarmed black men in a car were shot at in a barrage of 50 police bullets outside the strip joint Club Kalua. 23-yr. old Sean Bell, to be married that day, was killed and his two friends were injured. The nightly news now reports that the so-called 4th witness, a man with a gun who fled the scene, is most likely a myth and the lawyer for this man has accused the cops of not identifying themselves before opening fire.

There is another version, an angle the liberal New York media are not covering at all and that is the allegation that Sean Bell was using his car as a deadly weapon by ramming an undercover police officer twice and that this detective leaned over the hood of Bell's Nissan Altima and flashed his badge to identify himself as an officer of the law. Apparently the NYPD has a stupid departmental rule that a cop cannot fire at a moving vehicle even if the driver is attempting to run him over unless an occupant of the vehicle has a gun. Black NYC Councilman Charles Barron has said "there is going to be an explosion in this town if there is not a prosecution" while Republican Mayor Mike Bloomberg sits on his hands. Barron is perilously close to inciting a race war in this city by his incendiary words, so far he seems to be on the outer edges of protectable speech but this racist and hateful councilman seems to want the unspeakable to happen. I say rioters should be dealt with accordingly and should not be allowed to wreak the havoc they caused in LA during the Rodney King riots when the LAPD did practically nothing to protect innocent law-abiding citizens.

Let the truth come out.
People who masturbate your mind

Americanism and God

Which is more important, love of God or love of country? For me the answer is self-evident, if love of God leads me to conclude the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were wrong actions, for example, then that's the way I go. As important a national value as patriotism is it only becomes offensive if it takes on the aura of a state religion, a substitute for God, jingoism that blinds us to our own nation's faults, the political worship of Americanism, that only we are the moral beacon of the world and must guide, if not force, the rest of the world out of the dark cave of barbarism. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, it is said by conservatives who have an eye on Hollywood these days, spews anti-American rhetoric almost on a daily basis and it's probably true but it needs to be pointed out that when social conservatives do this, as when they criticize our cultural moral retardation on such issues as human feticide and forced starvations, they can still hold on to their mantle of love of country. Should a liberal do this, as when he focuses attention more on economic disparities let's say he is said to hate his mother land and may even be called a Communist. Sean Hannity couldn't believe we were starving a young disabled woman to death in a hospice in Florida in March of 2005 and yet he is still an unquestioned icon of patriotism, let a liberal like Al Franken talk about how we don't help the poor in this country and he's a left-wing turd. Just my thought for the day.People who masturbate your mind

Armchair warriors

No sooner had the conclusions from the Iraq Study Group come out then conservatives attacked en masse ("ridiculous" said Rick Santorum). The true righties like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh were quite willing to lose both Houses of Congress to the Democrats, the War was more important, now they are saying James Baker and Lee Hamilton's recommendation that we pull out of Iraq no later than early '08 is a shameful "cut and run", a pathetic running up the white flag of surrender. Even if you disagree with them as I do you have to admire these conservatives just the same, they are quite content to lose even the White House to Democratic control to push harder for the war which they know to be unpopular. It wouldn't be my political strategy but it is a principle I guess they are willing to go to defeat on.

First Man Bill Clinton.People who masturbate your mind

Left-wing Hollywood

America is primarily a Christian nation but I've been wondering of late do Americans hate their own religion? I'm thinking they made The DaVinci Code #1 at the box office and now the DVD is at the top of the charts too. The most common refrain of defenders of the book and movie to critics is "you moron, it's only fiction!" but this is disingenuous. It's like that movie starring Tim Robbins, Jacob's Ladder, his Jacob Singer character is a Vietnam vet and he's having all these weird hallucinations and he later finds out it was all a government plot to conduct mind-altering experiments on American soldiers and there is even the obligatory scene where the G-men pull him into a black limo and say don't pursue this or else. It's a great movie as a work of fiction but you're left wondering did they really do this, why make a movie out of it all, and I think this impression is intentional on director Adrian Lyne's part, he who directed Fatal Attraction. Also, the fact that it stars uber-lefty Tim Robbins. The normally very conservative Danny Aiello must have really needed the work. Point being DaVinci Code and Jacob's Ladder are not just fiction, there is a message behind them, like somebody planting the seed you never suspected your spouse before but now you're like thinking about it, these are message movies to question your own faith and government so it would be refreshing if the creators of such works were at least honest about it all. People who masturbate your mind

Saddam did what again??

From the New York Post editorial for today, the anniversary of Pearl Harbor:

A Terrible Resolve - "...The loss of life on Dec. 7, 1941 was staggering...That single-day toll would not be surpassed until six decades later - when Osama bin Laden's killers brought down the Twin Towers in the second sneak attack on American soil. But the American people in 1941 did not respond to the devastation at Pearl Harbor with hand-wringing, calls for negotiating with the enemy or incessant second-guessing of the president..." (emphasis mine) -- The Post still holds Saddam responsible for what happened on 9/11 in their soon to be collector's edition of "Surrender Monkeys" about the Iraq Study Group. Bermuda Triangle. People who masturbate your mind

Just don't read 'em

I wouldn't even call New York Times editorials liberal anymore, to say this is an insult to liberalism. I stopped reading them altogether when they treated George Bush's major primetime speech a few months back about illegal immigration as pandering to the extreme right-wing of his party even though mostly liberals themselves liked his proposals better than conservatives. Then there is the Times' defense of notorious late-term Kansas abortionist George Tiller. This is beyond liberalism, this is real Bermuda Triangle stuff, the Ole Gray Lady's political navigational instruments have all gone haywire, read the hard news events of the day on the front page if you like but it would behoove the reader, liberal and conservative alike, to not venture into these uncharted waters, you may never return to normal political thinking. Now you have to go back aways in my blogs to understand what I mean by "masturbation of the mind" but to reiterate it's people, usually liberals, who know how to stroke the pleasure centers of your mind and the fantasy that goes along with it has no grounding in reality whatsoever like making the girl next door into a whore or saying an unborn child at 5 and 3/4 months is not fully human but a 6 month fetus is, not at all logical but dream away dear fantasist and clean up after you're done. This is the Times' editorial board these days, we're talking major onanism here, getting it on the lampshade, the ceiling, in your eye. I can't stand to read the stuff anymore, a Yoko Ono concert by comparison would be getting off easy. An early warning sign would have been when they referred to the singer Meatloaf as "Mr. Loaf" (no kidding). Don't get upset at their editorials anymore, just turn the page and go to Arts and Leisure or better yet don't buy the damn thing.People who masturbate your mind

There's a right way to nuke and a wrong way to nuke

If memory serves during the Cold War, when it became apparent that nukes were a bad thing, negotiations dealt with both countries, the U.S. and the U.S.S.R., reducing their nuclear stockpiles. Reagan didn't insist you get rid of all your nuclear weapons and we keep ours. We are the only country in the history of the world to have dropped the atomic bomb on a major city, make that twice, we did it at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan on Aug. 6 and 9, 1945 respectively. It's as if we're saying to Iran and North Korea only we know how to use nuclear weapons responsibly, only we know when it is morally right to incinerate entire populations including pregnant women and children (are pro-lifers against these nuclear "abortions" too?). Make no mistake, rogue nations like Iran and North Korea should not have nukes but I'm just wondering where we get our moral platform from. Does God agree with our first use of nuclear weapons way back when? (a question nobody even deems relevant to ask). We seem to see ourselves as the final arbiters of ultimate morality, of Right and Wrong, not God. We have become Supermen.

E=mc2 Energy equals the mass of something times the speed of light squared (the speed of light being about 186,000 miles/sec.) This formula of Einstein dealing with mass and energy conversion led to the Manhattan Project led by Robert Oppenheimer, the genie was let out of the bottle, we ate from the forbidden tree and now we are worried that terrorists may turn the nuclear tables against us. I don't know if we can turn to God in these times since if He didn't approve of our actions in 1945 He might find it ironic that we are now asking for His help. We need that National Day of Prayer that Lincoln penned during the Civil War now more than ever. Our Lady of Fatima, The Mother of the Divine Mercy, pray for us. People who masturbate your mind

Art & Life

Why can't life be more like an old-time movie, at least some of the time? In many ways I prefer Art to Reality and art is often a reflection of what reality should be as in the 1967 movie The Graduate which made Dustin Hoffman a star. For some this is a movie about adultery but for me I was more captivated by the larger love story of the last third of the film where Benjamin Braddock goes off to Berkeley to find Elaine so he can marry her. Ben had had an affair with her mother, Mrs. Robinson, and Elaine can't forgive him and so she tries to forget about him and is set to marry a young doctor. During the ceremony at a Presbyterian church bride and groom are about to kiss each other when Ben screams "Elaine" over and over from the church choir and the movie ends with Ben stealing her away and they live happily ever after.

The trouble with pc is that it is never poetic, the proper thing for Ben to have done would have been to forget about Elaine and get on with his life and she could get on with hers. If this happened in real life Ben would be arrested for stalking and harassment but Ben does the heroic thing over the proper thing to do. This was the Second Golden Age of Movies, the period from the late '60s through the '70s, as movies then portrayed real life with real emotions, they had real storylines and you don't seem to get this quality in the cinema anymore. The Graduate has turned into Redeye but Ben is my kind of character and hats off to him, if only more people sensed the potential for art in real life instead of getting all uppity. The Simon and Garfunkel score was just the icing on the cake, a DVD worth having in your collection. People who masturbate your mind

Queer Eye for the Herod Guy

In Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ movie why does he make the Herod guy gay? and why is the Devil a transgendered individual? Discuss.People who masturbate your mind